"Straight" girls who have sex with women but don't want to date them

I understand your frustration. (*hug*) I think most straight girls who sleep with women don't mean any harm, but if they don't consider that just because they won't be able to feel anything deeper than sexual desire for the other, that doesn't mean the other can't for them, then they are being very insensitive indeed. That's not to say all straight girls who sleep with women are like that, of course.

 

Eh - it's a two way street. A lesbian sleeping with a straight woman knows what she's getting into as well. And I'm sure there are many gay women who count on the fact that straight girls won't get attached.

That said: Personally, I think sexual intimacy isn't something I want to pursue in a frivolous context. So if I was going to sleep with a woman who had up till then identified as heterosexual I'd make damn sure she was feeling more than curious.

 

I agree with your viewpoint and also see it as objectification and exploitation. However, I've not had any such issues with straight women as I have only regarded them for strictly platonic interactions. So when they flirt or whatnot, I completely ignore their behavior. I must say though, what you've described is certainly not limited to straight women. Prior to realizing I wasn't straight, I took notice of how many men seemed to love to objectify and exploit, only to later find that many women of the LGBTQ community do it as well.

 

These same women would see the same behaviour in men and be outraged. How dare they use women as sexual objects. But it's okay for them to do the same thing? Nope. Just nope.

Honestly I wouldn't go out with, or have sex with, a woman I wasn't sure was genuinely lesbian or bi. But hopefully I would never be in this situation because if they can't manage a date I'm not sleeping with them anyway...
They can be curious with someone else thanks.

 

Lesbians could fix this problem relatively easily, by refusing to sleep with straight girls. It is a different story if the girl lies and says she is gay as well, but otherwise, you DO have a choice. Just say no.

 

this i think is stupid, that would be like having a prostitute

 

I saw this video floating around YouTube awhile ago. Totally rude.

 

Female sexuality is complicated. If a "straight" woman wants sex with women, but will always go back to men, that doesn't make her sexuality invalid, she could ID as bi if she wanted to. I understand how frustrating it must be, and hurtful.

I hate the whole culture around straight girls being like "OMG I'd turn for Ruby Rose" but they wouldn't actually turn for her, and it's not actually a crush, it's just recognizing they're attractive. I don't think that's the same thing though.

I could be wrong but I think they just don't know the harm they are doing? I don't think it's always a case of objectification either, if their desire is a genuine one. But in the end if you know they are straight, then you know what you're doing, basically. I say that out of experience, I have never felt used by a straight girl because I always knew what it was, however I have felt used by lesbians.

 

Some people are only sexually attracted to a certain gender, they can't help it. As long as they aren't deceiving a gay girl into believing that they are interested in anything more than sex, there is nothing wrong with 'straight' girls having sex with lesbians, although straight girls who like to have sex with women are not straight at all, so let's just call them what they are, bisexual.

 

I don't see why they can't just sleep with other straight girls looking to experiment, because trust me there are tons of them. Of course, some lesbians like the casual sex too and I'm not saying that's wrong. But plenty of lesbians are manipulated into it, end up developing feelings, and are hurt- and that is never okay. It's objectification, and no different to what men do to women on a daily basis.

 

So would a woman who claimed to have had emotional and sexual attraction and had sex with only one woman identify as bi?

 

I think this type of thing is very harmful for the Bi community as well. This behavior by straight gals is what makes people think that Bisexuality does not exist and is not a valid sexuality. This also perpetuates the myths that are pervasive in both the gay and straight community that Bi girls will always leave you for a man, and they can't be faithful. If you are unsure of your orientation, or Bicurious, that is one thing, but otherwise it is quite frankly appropriation of Bisexuality and it annoys me.