I was going to call this "loving someone but not wanting them", but I guess I do want him. This is just a short question. Usually I have the opinion that sexual and romantic attraction aren't as separate as some people (people who are figuring out their sexuality) think. But.... When I like guys, I usually have a very intense and innocent affection for them, but I can't really see myself with them. I met someone recently. I work with him, and as soon as I laid eyes on him I was attracted to him. I kind of went "oh shit" because I see myself as someone who is serious about her work, I don't want to be the girl who can't see past the boys in her workplace. I have become very attracted to him physically and emotionally. I think he is gorgeous, not because he technically is, I just love the way he looks. I also respect him. It's one of those things where I'm like "he's not like other guys!", but it's true, I've never met anyone like him. I feel energized after being around him. Sometimes I become quite disenchanted with other people, I have social anxiety and in recent years have found it hard to enjoy myself around other people and connect with them. But it's like, meeting people like him is why I make myself keep going, you know. Its not that I connect with him really, but I feel like a child, looking up to someone and having a huge crush on them. I would say maybe I just admire him, but he's literally my perfect guy, I'm so attracted to him, his personality. Only thing is, I don't think I could be with him? If me and him were in a relationship I think I would get too much of a good thing. I want to be emotionally intimate and physically intimate, but not sexually, even though I am attracted to him. Anyway, it's weird. This is what my crushes on men are like. I say I am bisexual but when my crushes are like this I sort of wonder if I could ever have a future with a man. It's not that I'm not attracted to him sexually, its just that it's not even a factor really. I feel like I am wholly attracted to him, I just don't look at him and daydream about sex with him, it's just not like that I guess. It's just pure innocent heart-eyes. Does anyone feel the same when they have a crush?
Hi, I know exactly what you mean. For the time being I also call myself a bisexual. I sometime meet girls and I feel like I could really fall for them. Has happen twice in the last year. I see them so attractive and they're really nice, and then I have friends telling me that they like me, that I should do something about it, but despite being able to see a future with a girl (sorta), I can't picture our selves getting sexually involved. But then the same is now happening with guys. So now I'm wondering if this will somehow go away, or if its possible to have a relation that doesn't involves much sex. (Guess with a guy is hard since most of gay sex are just looking for sex).
Do you think you might be in the asexual spectrum markmax? It's weird because sometimes I think I'm straight because I crush on guys more, but I know the feelings I have had for girls are actually the kind of feelings that relationships could be built on, I just don't get the feelings that often.
I'm not sure. I'm starting to think so. Which I'm not ok with. Cause I remembered enjoying sex when I was younger. I completely understand you. I think is just about having an open mind. Not closing ourselves to opportunities. If you meet a guy who you think you can build something, I would say go for it. Try it. Only way to know if something doesn't work is by giving it try. If it doesn't work, well, another guy or girl will come. I think a lot of problems lay in wanting to define ourselves. I hope, that you meet someone who you are comfortable talking about it, and someone who can take it slow with you, it will be easier to let go the doubts and start "wanting" that person, as you put it the title.
