Hello! This is going to be a very long post, but I still hope someone is gonna read and help me. During last years spring I have admited to myself that I am gay. For so long it has been bothering me and I didn't want to do it, because I was ashamed. Well I finally did and because it's in my personality that I always seek opinion from others (yeah it's not the best trait), I am here to see what you guys think. Am I gay? Here are some points: -When I was in primary school I dated two girls, I kissed them but never had any sex -Even in high school I kissed a girl, but mostly because I didn't want friends to think I don't like them -In high school I had sex two times but I never got turned on -What turned me on since I was young were male feet, so it's a huge turn on (I guess i have a fetish) and I mostly watched feet porn -For the last year (I'm in college now) I started watching normal gay porn, i started finding men hot, beautiful and attractive -I also think about having a relationship with men and having sex a, thinking about it also turns me on if i do it a lot -I never had sex with men tho yet, except when my friend let me massage his feet, i got hugely turned on -One time the same friend jokingly rubbed my nipples and it also turned me on (I guess it wasn't such a joke for me xD) -I find women beautiful as in just looks, I can see which one is cute, and I comment about them with my friends -Tho I can't make myself watch women porn, since I really don't feel like it -I think I once watched women porn when I was in high school but it was really hard for me to come Why I'm here is because I already came out to people, and I feel so much better now, but I'm kinda scared, what if I'm wrong. I also text guys, am looking forward to meet some, have my first sex one day etc. And I want your opinion. And I'm very sorry if I was a bit too graphic. Thanks a lot!
Wow, I'm surprised on how many people actually go through the same thing. I don't know if its a fase or what, but I can hugely relate you what your saying. Except for the fact that I have not come out to family yet (I once told my mum but I she thought I was kidding. Other than that, I haven't done it because I guess I want to 100% sure of who I am before so). As you, I usually don't find girl on girl porn arousing, but I do with gay porn and always wanted to be with a guy. 3 days ago I finally did and I'm still not sure of what I really want or like. My point is, I guess, don't force it. Don't try to define yourself as gay, bi or straight. Just be you, and love who you want to love, if so it happens that you fall for a guy great, but if your not sure, then don't close the opportunity to also fall for a girl. Let things come natural and open yourself to possibilities. You already took a huge step coming out, so now you're free to look for who you want, boy or girl.
I definitely won't force myself, like you said. But I never had any arousal for either girl-on-girl action, or girl-on-guy. Only guy-on-guy and foot fetish videos. Things I have done in the past were only because I wanted to appear straight and I was ashamed of my fetish and possible attraction to men. :/
You sound very gay to me: you have gotten turned on by guys in real life, i.e. it is not just a fantasy. Embrace it and have (safe) fun!
