I was dating someone for 3 years. We were in a LDR. We started off as being very good friends as I thought she was straight. I started becoming attracted to her and came out to her as a lesbian as she was very affectionate towards me - so wanted to be fair towards her. To cut a long story short we started dating. I was her first woman, she had dated a number of guys before me, tried to date a couple before we got together but kept thinking about me. We had something really special, not implying that we didn't have problems cause we did, but the love between us was something out of this world. She never told anyone about us. Her sexual orientation cropped up a number of times during our relationship - one of the things that really bothered her was the fact that she did not see other women attractive only me. I did not mind this at all. I tried to re-assure her that this is all a process and as long as she feels comfortable with me then she should not worry too much. I even urged her to get counselling, which she never did. We had a very healthy sex life. She used to get bugged cause she had fantasies about being penetrated by a penis. Recently, we broke up and she started dating this guy who lives where she lives. He is her age (I'm older than her) and they share a lot of common interests. She wanted to remain friends but I was (am) heartbroken and still so much in love with her, and seeing her with someone else kills me. We stopped talking for a month on my suggestion. It was a very hard month but a useful one! Now we have been talking for a week. Talking again is nice but sometimes painful. I learnt that her new relationship is not going that well, she told me that emotionally I gave her much more, but physically (although she claimed that what we had was so special) she feels more normal with him. She told me she still loves me a lot and still thinks about me a lot. She told me that this week I made her doubt her decision as he does not compare to me. I don't know what to think - I know she is as confused as I am. Sometimes when we skype she is resistant to switch on camera as she thinks that seeing me will change her mind. She comes from a religious background, so i don't know if that has anything to do with this. Although I really want her back...I'm not trying to convince her to do anything she is not sure of. I'm threading really carefully as the minute she starts to get close and I start to get close, she pushes me away and makes it seem like I did not understand her when she said she doesn't want to be with me - but at same time she sends all these mixed messages. I'm lost. Any advice pls?
