and it would win awards!! IDK Man, how am i supposed to explain anything, i'm pretty sure my problems aren't just about confusion about orientation, more about relationships as well...wait...crushes aren't relationships :'D wow idk. :help: Um, so...... My friend group are very lgbt i guess. We started an lgbt support club in our school (nobody comes lol) and we go to gay pride parades.....when we first started everything i thought i was straight......wow :'D i did. I watched boy's love animes and read and wrote boyxboy book and was just a general yaoi fangirl. Then the pride day happened. The prideday is one fateful day. right, i need to pee before i write all this shit out, brb where tf do i even start... Sooo 6 of us went, including crush letter k .(that paranoid, won't write their name ) I wasn't really into crush letter k at the time, well, kinda, there was attraction there. While we were at the pride day i saw people walking around with pan flags, they stuck out to me (i think because of the colourslol) , and i thought about it. That's me. I don't give a shit about gender. So i set out on going to get a pan flag of my own. Now as we walked and did pride day things (idk lol) crush letter k kept on touching my arm, and just generally being near me. now i was flustered because yeah i did like crush k by then, i mean she is my effing type. hella sporty, hella fit, tall, *drools* ahem. she is also awkward, and wierd just like us. she has this funny laugh and acts really idiotic and bizzar sometimes. okay stop, loooool don't go explaining why i like someone me. Well she was actually a new friend, my twin sister had brought her into our friend group gradually, because she didn't have any freinds beforehand. she's an idiot really :'D why do i like her so much ugh and she never talked about her sexuality or anything, so i was thinking, was she doing this on purpose? , I also got really wet...can't remember why, oh yeah, a fountain x'D. So i had tied a part of my top up, and she looked at it occasionally.....would you find someones stomach attractive idk lmao. but she made me suspicious. And suspicious = hopeful and hopeful= LIFE SUCKING. So as we did that for a bit, making me ever more flustered and suspicious, we eventually made it to the festivalshop area thingymagigy , and i bought a pan flag. and someone asked me if i was pan, forgotten if it was k or not, and i said yes and everything, and that's my coming out story LOL. So yeah after pride day we all went home, i was stressed because she acted like normal and shite and paid more attention ot other friends and just gave signs of not liking me off and making me feel pathetic and a hopeful perverted lesbo -.- selff hhatte We went back home and i was just dealing with my crush on her for a bit(as in a few months) it was gradually getting stronger even though she gave no more signs off of liking me UGH . i'm pathetic. Then there was cruch L. kill me now. Crush L is out as bisexual, i guess they caught my attention with that. they're just so , lol, um, sophisticated and mature x'D and confident and shite, idk, i'm pathetic so i managed to get a crush on them, even though we only talk a few times a week. They know i'm pan and i often flaunt it by drawing the pan flag on my hand and recently i've been doing the lesbian symbol as well because WHY THE FUCK NOT. we are also the only two out in the school :'D sucks they aren't really interested in trying to know me better really (must be that undesirable lol) , oh yeah, they are genderfluid now i think, of course i don't mind, pan here, lol. So my 2 crushes have been getting stronger and stronger, i think about them allot, and other pathetic things like that. of course crush K is my strongest crush, i like her allot *sigh* I mean she is SO gay! But she's not apparently! :bang::bang::bang::bang: she;s VERY sporty, she's boyish, she likes to have her hair up, she hates dresses, she's lgbt friendly, she ships some lesbian couples, she had most of the sterotypes down right there! but she never says anything abotu her sexuality :! Well, apart from a time she said she hasn't had a crush in three years, :icon_sad: broke my heart bitches. so yeah,i've had so many romantic desires with girls and being lesbian in genreal, but want guys to fuck off completely! i would say i was lesbian even BUT i find gay sex hot -.- that's it, not a boy on it's own, just gay sex. and hetero things can STAY AWAy from me. not interested in hetero in the slightest. so i'm having all these feelings for girls, had a slight crush on a boy once but that's it, i had a crush because of their personality...in fact...both my crushes aren't great on looks either (they're fit though my god those legs, ahem) idk, what am i?!! oh and did i mention after i had started attempt 54 of getting over crush K , having convinced myself they could never like me because they were straight, they fudging said ' I don't even know' to my freind asking them their sexuality!! UGH!! you had to say that didn't you K , you HAD TO -.- ugh i'm pathetic :tears::tears::tears::tears: :eusa_doh: and this annoying AF boy found out about crush k and keeps on giving her hints and shit, NO, she's too awkward please don't ruin my frreindship D:
