Hey people! I've been thinking a lot about my sexuality and I've become increasingly sure that I'm gay. My main question is, is it normal to have had no idea before less than a year ago that I liked guys? Looking back, it seems obvious that I was at least somewhat attracted to guys before I became aware of it and just ignored it because I expected myself to be straight. Just wanted to hear some of your experiences and opinions on the topic. I see a lot of people that knew since a young age and that makes me doubt that I am gay. Thanks Sean
I think everyone's experiences are different. What you described seems totally normal to me. Deep down I knew I wasn't straight for a long time, but it wasn't until I was in my mid teens that I started to really accept that fact.
I didn't figure out I was gay until I was 21. Growing up I had almost no idea that such a thing as homosexuality even existed and it really didn't have anything to do with me. At the same time I had virtually zero interest in girls or various so called 'straight' things (sports, cars, etc.). Due to various family adventures, I also had no interest in marriage or relationships and I've never wanted children. Sexual tension (when it eventually became a factor) was just a physical urge like eating or going to bathroom and dealt with as perfunctorily. Looking back, I can see things that would have indicated I was gay, but I had no exposure to anything at the time to tell me that or that such a thing was possible. If a guy hadn't started hitting on me in a locker room when I was 19, I'm not sure when I would have figured it out. Overall it took about a year (late 19, through age 20, to early age 21) to conclude I wasn't just trying something new or experimenting. In other words, not everyone knows while still a pre-teen or teenager. Todd
When I started puberty, I still thought I was straight. I must have been very sheltered because I knew little about homosexuality, except that it was "bad". It took me a year or two before I realized I was gay, and it happened quite quickly.
Sean, I knew I was transgendered for a while (since I was 11), however, you might be scared because you'd be rejected by your family. No matter if you are straight, bi or gay or transgendered you'll have friends here.
I think it's pretty normal to realize later on in life or to have not always known about it. I had had crushes on boys exclusively up until about a year and a half ago, when I first realized I was sexually attracted to women. Even then I was in denial for about a year and convinced myself that it was a completely 'normal' thing to do until I fell in love with my best friend. I hadn't had any indication before that time that I was queer apart from a need to pretend I was a serial crusher in primary school because I thought it was cool at the time and something I had to do to fit in. Also, I've always been a bit of a tomboy and when I was a child I was more interested in the LGBT+ community than average and I always felt an odd instinctive connection with it, but I never assumed it was because I identified with them. So...yeah. I think it's perfectly normal to not realize until later in life (especially for females because their sexuality is more fluid) and you shouldn't be worried about whether it's 'just a phase' or not. You do you and see what happens.
I hv known about lgbtqai stuff since i was 12, but never considered myself one. But as i grew up, my knowledge increased and here i am questioning my orientation ---------- Post added 23rd Feb 2016 at 02:52 PM ---------- I think i might be a lesbian but who knows...
I've always known that I am gay since my earliest memories. The thing is, I didn't have any words to articulate these feelings when I was young. I was exposed to homophobia but it never really bothered me until I got older and realised that this "horrible" thing of being homosexual that everyone around me was so afraid of and despised was actually what I experienced naturally. They just made it out to be so scary and so ridiculous, I just couldn't put two to two together. lol I feel that everyone "knows/feels" their sexual orientation on some conscious or unconscious level, but social and cultural factors (or perhaps just plain points in our lives) sometimes fail to arm us with the necessary words to describe how we truly feel, even to our own selves. My point is that it doesn't really matter when you realise this part of yourself exactly. What matters is that you reach there.
I've always wondered about this too and I also have thought on why many people have discovered their sexuality previously while other found it out later. Of course you - as the other people who discover their sexual orientation afterwords - are not less gay then those guys and girls whose crushes were focalized only on their same gender since they were young. So... The key of your question is inside it indeed. And I'm refering to this part: You aren't alone, anyway. I figured out many things when I was "older" and now I know I will understand even more during my life. So philosophical... (but true)
