Was she interested, playing around, or was she questioning my sexuality?

Hi There! This problem actually isn't all too uncommon.

Some people get interested because something happened in their romantic/sexual life that maybe they aren't too keen on. For example, if her boyfriend wanted her to do something in bed that she wasn't comfortable with, she may have thought that it was because of her sexuality changing. It makes no sense but I know some straight people like this.

You will also meet a lot of what I like to call "bi girls". Now I don't mean actual bisexual people, they are fine and have nothing to do with these people. "Bi girls" are girls who rebound from a crush on a guy or relationship with a guy and are craving affection they obviously didn't get from their male significant other. This person might be a friend of yours and either will know or suspect that you are not straight. They will then go into the "thirst phase" where they will relentlessly go after you for seemingly no reason at all. If you don't cut them off here (i.e. say that you're not interested/ignore them) they will assume that you want to date them because you like women and they think that means you are attracted to every single girl in the universe. Someone will inevitably ask them "Oh you like women now? I thought you were straight, what are you now?". To which they will respond, "I'm Bi". They usually have thought about this for 5 minutes before declaring this to the world. Your "relationship" with them will progress and you might even go official. But less then a week in (on average) they will say they have made a mistake and are straight. These are the people that make parents say, "It's just a phase". :tantrum:

~If you can't tell this has happened to me personally and I apologize for that tangent. I was letting out a little pent up rage about my experience.~

She may just want to know what was up with you, ya know see if the "rumors" were true. Or she could just be genuinely interested in the topic of LGBTQ+ (which would be fantastic to have more allies )

But now for what I think is the most plausible thing that happening. She could be a lesbian/bisexual/pan-sexual or just be questioning and has taken a genuine interest in you. She is most likely closeted or doesn't know how to "label" herself yet and wants to be cautious (ya know so shes not a "bi girl") The reason she's been avoiding you is because she doesn't want people to question her sexuality and her to then be exposed. She probably just likes you but is so deep into the closet she can't get out. :help:

Have a great day, and best of luck with her! (*hug*)

 

I agree with YesHomo and I feel like the best way to sort out the mess would be to find out what she wanted to talk about. You don't have to disclose anything straight away.

 

I think if you like her and want to know what was going on with her, you'll have to talk to her. Maybe don't lay all your cards on the table but give her the opportunity to clarify what was going on with her.

You could agree to get together and talk and then say something like you agree things got weird there for a while and it was partly because you imagined something you couldn't explain between the two of you but you realize now if she had something to say to you, she would and she should feel she could because you two are cool. And you will be cool with whatever she may want to tell you - even if she thinks it might shock you.

Something to suggest she should feel comfortable if she wants to tell you anything but also, if you've misread things, you recognize that possibility and don't want it to affect your current relationship; coworkers, friends, whatever.

Although, I guess you need to be prepared for her to say she likes you likes you and how you'd respond to that.

 

Ah, why did you not want to talk to her when she texted you? This doesn't have to be a big deal, you can just begin by becoming friends outside of work and see how it goes. If mutual attraction is there, both of you will notice it at one point. I don't think you even have to acknolwedge that things got weird. Just try to be casual about this whole thing. I hope it all goes well, and do keep us updated!

 

ugh omg that update. Dude, I feel you. Getting interested in someone and then you realise that they've been hiding a whole serious relationship from you, even though they made you feel like you guys could talk... Makes you feel like such an idiot and sort of undervalued as a friend. uuuugh omg I feel you hugshugshugs (*hug*) Still... can't... get... over it :bang:

 

ororo, I know how you feel. Hugs to you.