1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Lesbian but feel a strange connection with a guy

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by sapphiregirl, Feb 9, 2016.

  1. sapphiregirl

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2015
    Messages:
    94
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    London, United Kingdom
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    A few months ago I came to terms with the fact that I'm a lesbian. I feel 100% attracted (emotionally, physically, sexually) to women, and I really don't have any desire to have sex with a guy at all.

    However, very occasionally I'll feel some kind of emotional connection with a guy. For example, there's this male coworker I have. He's straight, and he has always acted very quietly around me and seems nervous in my presence. He's quite shy in general but I have a feeling he might like me (and I know he wouldn't know I'm gay - my appearance doesn't really 'give away' my sexuality). I also know that he's been through some hard stuff, and I just feel this connection with him.

    I guess a part of me can relate to him because I see aspects of my own personality in him - shyness, and having a passion for art/music etc. It's sort of like we 'get' each other without really needing to talk much, and I feel this weird urge to take care of him, or give him a hug or something. I don't feel any sort of sexual attraction. It's more like a kind of respect, or emotional connection, like I want to make sure he's okay. Is this weird? Have any of you ever felt like this towards someone of the opposite sex even though you're gay/lesbian?
     
  2. YesHomo

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 22, 2015
    Messages:
    80
    Likes Received:
    12
    Location:
    Maryland
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Helloo! :smilewave

    There are always exceptions to your sexuality. There is always someone who is not typical to your sexual preference that you like. You may just also deeply care for him, like a brother/sister type thing. You can definitely get deeply emotionally attached to people, but are not necessarily attracted to them. :icon_mrgr

    Best of Luck! (*hug*)
     
  3. DragonsInSpace

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 21, 2015
    Messages:
    77
    Likes Received:
    5
    Location:
    Northern Ireland
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I actually feel the exact same way about one of my classmates. I was even thinking about making a thread similar to this one! I'm also a lesbian but recently I've been talking to one of the guys in my English class more and we have a ton in common and just get on really well. I wouldn't want to date him and although I know he's a good looking guy, I'm not attracted to him. I just want to spend more time with him, y'know? Chat, hang out, but just platonically. I have the same feelings of respect and emotional connection that you're describing.
    So yeah, I think this is pretty normal. Like YesHomo said, you can have an emotional connection with someone without being attracted to them.