"Straight" female. Cannot differentiate admiration and love.

Hello, first of all, this is the first time I've posted here. I felt that a community with similar experiences may help me figure out my orientation. Thanks in advance for anyone reading though all these paragraphs, I really appreciate it.

Ok, here is a run down of my issue:

I've lived my life considering myself as a straight female for 20ish years. (I put straight in quotations in the title because I'm not sure what I am anymore.) However, recently in college I've started to wonder if I developed a crush on a female peer of mine.

The first time this happened was during a part time job when I was about 18 years old, where I developed a strangely strong attachment to this female coworker who was older than me. It's not that I was attracted to her face, actually in terms of females I've never felt attracted to their faces and felt apathetic towards female looks in general, unlike the way I was with guys. (I loved staring at handsome guys.) Perhaps this is why I always considered myself as straight for the longest time. But somehow it was very easy for me to talk to her and it felt very comfortable. So much so, that I felt a strong sense of attachment, and just hearing her voice would make my heart leap. I found this feeling unlike something one would feel for a friend, so this shocked me, and I started questioning my orientation. I did not have the desire to date her though, so I could not understand what I was feeling, and thus brushed these feelings aside as admiration because I was very confused.

Fast forward to now, several years in university later. I met a girl who was very similar to me, with a geeky sense of humor and a deadpan voice. She also had a very sharp intelligence that I admired. As a result, I instantly felt she was interesting and thought we could form a good friendship. But as time went on, I felt that I thought of her more than I normally would for anyone else, and always thought of things like "she would like his wouldn't she?" or "I'm sure she would understand me..." when in reality, we weren't actually that close, we were just acquaintances. But she was on my mind a lot. During a particular outing with a group of friends, we shared an umbrella under the rain and when my shoulders brushed hers, I felt as though my heart was squeezing. At that point I thought to myself, isn't this some kind of infatuation that goes beyond admiration or friendship?

So now. I'm very confused. This is new to me, so I can't tell what I am feeling. One of the things that annoyed me the most was that I was quite a tomboy in highschool, and people assumed I was lesbian, but I was not. And I hated that people wanted to stereotype me for how I chose to express myself. But now that I indeed am feeling something similar to bisexuality, I feel a little disappointed I indeed fall into that box.
I know. It's stupid. But I mentioned this because I'm not sure if I am against accepting my feelings as romantic because of my previous annoyance of being stereotyped.

One of the things that confuses me is, I've always liked boys, and find them appealing, both romantically and sexually. As for girls... it's only possible for me to feel that "heart squeezing" if I knew their personalities in some way. I don't notice their faces at all. They could be the ugliest person on earth and I would barely notice, if their personalities made me feel comfortable with them. I also don't really feel sexual desire towards females, but I do feel my heart racing for those two particular girls I knew. On the other hand, for guys I do evaluate their looks to some degree, as well as personality. I fantasize about men for the most part. But I don't really have many urges for females. At least, so far. (I know that sexuality sometimes takes time to discover, but at the moment I don't have much interest in females physically or sexually.)

Does anyone understand what I am going through? Because I have no idea what my feelings are right now. Would you consider my orientation as bisexual or heteroflexible or something else? How do you interpret my feelings? I know that it's hard since you are only reading a written text and aren't experiencing it personally, but I still want feedback from people familiar with these topics.

Thank you very much for reading.

 

Thanks for all the replies. From what I'm hearing, it seems likely I'm just in the early stages of discovering whatever my sexuality is.

At the moment, the term "biromantic" seems very accurate.
I still cannot really imagine myself in a sexual relationship with a female, but it's possible in the future this may change. I don't know.

This issue has really given me a lot of confusion and angst over the past few days. It's pretty hard. I really wish sexuality wasn't something that suddenly you discover, haha. It'd be nice if I knew right now, clearly what exactly I am. But it requires so much patience and surprise.

---------- Post added 13th Feb 2016 at 04:33 PM ----------

Hmmm, what was it that made you think you had a crush on them, when you just wanted to be friends, though? Isn't the feeling of wanting to be friends and having a crush somewhat different? I'm very curious.