Okay, so first of all this is where I get confusing- I'm questioning my gender- and I think I'm more than likely non binary, but since I'm not out as that- most people know me as a girl. Now onto my question. So, I've struggled with my sexual orientation for a long time. I liked girls as a kid until I found out that being gay was this awful thing (according to other kids) and basically forced myself to believe that I was really straight. I'd tell myself that by thinking a guy was cute that I had a crush on him. Anytime I felt any attraction towards girls I tried hard to ignore it. I did eventually have a few small crushes on boys when I was in my early teens, but eventually couldn't help noticing the fact that my feelings for girls never went away. I eventually accepted that I liked girls, and decided that I must be bisexual. I started off with being "50:50", but the percentage began to weigh more and more in favour of girls. I came out to most people last year as bisexual and insisted it wasn't a phase. Luckily, most people were accepting. The problem I have now is, I'm not sure if I really am. In theory, I could fall in love with someone of any gender. I haven't had a crush on a boy since I was about 15, and the thought of being in a relationship with one or god forbid marrying one gives me anxiety, because it's just not something I can see myself doing. On the other hand, I would love to be in a relationship with or marry a woman, and I have been in love with women. Now and again, I will find guys attractive, and I'm not saying I could never be in love with one, I just.. I don't know. And as for non binary genders, I quite honestly don't know enough non binary people to say whether I would or wouldn't be attracted to them. I know some that I find attractive, but I haven't had a crush. Anyway, what I'm getting at here is, am I really bisexual or am I gay? Anyone have any opinions? They'd be greatly appreciated. Thank you :help:
Apart from the whole gender thing, I've certainly been in the same situation only I didnt realise my crushes on girls from when I was younger for what they really were until quite recently (I thought I was just really good friends with them, ahaha). I never had crushes on guys but in primary school most of my friends were male and people always said I /must/ have a crush on one of them. I never did, but I pretended to just to shut them up. Like you, I can't imagine myself in a relationship with, or marrying, a man (but who knows, that might change, sexuality is fluid.) But I can totally imagine being in a relationship and spending the rest of my life with a woman. That said, I am also attracted to men as well as women. Because of this, I identify as a homoromantic bisexual - but I tend to just say I'm a lesbian because I can rarely be arsed to explain it to people, and I'm only really interested in dating women. Homoromantic bisexual just means I'm romantically attracted to the same sex, and obviously bisexual is being sexually attracted to two or more genders. So maybe you're a homoromantic bi/pansexual? I cant label you obviously, that's for you to decide, and labels aren't always helpful but I like having something to identify with and maybe you do to. Hope this was of some help and sorry it got so long!
