Does anyone else feel wistful about not being straight?

This was one of the things I was quite depressed about when I was going through the realization to acceptance process of being gay. I want(ed) kids, a wife, a house, the whole 9 yards. Like you say, I just didn't want what she had downstairs. But that doesn't mean you can't have a version of what you want. For one thing, who says you can't have a girlfriend/wife who can talk football with your dad? I dated a guy who could totally talk cooking with my mom!

 

I never had that dream. I never thought about a happily ever after, prince charming or anything remotely resembling that. I never dreamt of walking down the aisle in a white wedding dress (oh hell no)
I see myself now, gaining in confidence, slowly, finding myself and I'm finally happy. I'm in my own skin. I look at myself, my clothes have changed, my hair has changed and I have changed. Into me. Not the person others expected me to be, or who I thought I was meant to be, but me. Finally me. I have learned so much since I joined here, so much this year in fact. So very much this year. Half way through February and I feel so different to when I joined here, 4 1/2 months ago (is that all it's been?)
Don't regret not fulfilling that life you thought you wanted, look forward to the life you are now going to have. Let yourself have it.

 

I am feeling the same way. I am still questioning right now and even though I have never really liked men exactly the same way I like women I have still always loved the idea of being with a man. In my head being with a man physically is not super appealing, but just being with a man and living that 'normal' life is so appealing.

That is all I have ever dreamed of, i've daydreamed about my perfect husband and kids and house. Our wedding would be perfect; I have a gorgeous dress and he has a stunning suit and my husband would hang out with the guys at family parties, etc. And yeah, realizing that I might actually end up with a woman crushes my whole idea of the 'perfect life' and it's sad to watch that dream die. But then I try and put together a new dream, one where I am actually happy. Where I actually feel love, where I feel whole inside makes me happy again!

I am still struggling and trying to figure things out myself. I have trouble going back and forth between completely hating myself for liking who I like and supporting myself the next day, it's a daily struggle.

The thing is people like us; people that grew up with television, movies and family teaching us what life and love should look like have to un brainwash ourselves. Mainstream media and family opinions shaped our dreams. We formed those dreams because that is what we thought happiness and love looks like. That is what makes others happy and we were never shown that love and happiness is more than that and does not come in one format.

Maybe we will get something better? Something we never even dreamed possible? Something better than dating someone our fathers could talk sports with. We will love who we love and I hope that when we find someone we really care about we will can wash away all our preconceived ideas of what would make us happy and just be happy. It's just hope, the hope of an even better life and the courage to let go of an idea we formed a long time ago.

 

I never wanted to have family and children. Well, partner could be ok, children - no. I could still get the life I wanted. There is always adoption.

I did get into the future with thinking about my ex, but it was never any detailed. And since it's ex I'm writing about, nothing of this became true. Which I'm very happy about, as it would ruin my life. Probably

 

Its understandable...but its 2016 and the world is different and all those dreams you think you are missing out on are things you don't have too. You can meet a women and be happy and have the life you were born to have. I think our heteronormative society pushes its own ideal family but its changing and I'm happy about that. The mom and dad and 2.5 kids is just no longer a reality. Family means so much more than that.

I hope you live your life the way you see best fit and what makes you happy. Just remember that you won't miss out on much. Everything a straight couple can do a gay couple can do, and it's great.

Everything will be fine in the end. You know deep down the right path and i think you should follow your heart, it knows best.

 

Sometimes I've felt the way too. Just keep in mind that any traits you may be attracted to in this "Prince Charming" could just as easily be found in your future partner, and like a previous poster has said, you could make a version of this life tailored for yourself. I think it's a reason to be hopeful and happy rather than wistful.

 

It's far from just a you thing...but neither is it universal, and I think it's worth recognizing that some people have a much different spin on it.

First, let me say that being bisexual is an enormous challenge for me. I was raised to believe firmly in monogamy, and I have been monogamous with my (same-sex) partner for 30 years. But increasingly, and in the past 10 years *distractingly*, I feel like part of my sexuality is completely unrealized. Some people seem to feel bisexual means "either men or women"...well, for some of us, including me, it's "both men and women" and after 30 years, although I love my partner and don't want to be apart from her, I feel like a huge something is missing...'cause it is!

But would I rather be straight?? Fuck no! For one thing, that would mean I wouldn't be attracted to this incredible woman I love! Might I at least like to be a lesbian? Weeeeeell, when you put it that way, bisexuality starts to sound more attractive. It's not that I have any issues with lesbians (hell, I'm frequently mistaken for one)...it's that I *value* the openness of taste. I feel like my bisexuality influences a *lot* of things about me, way beyond who I find hot or who I might like to sleep with given my druthers.

So much as I consider it a two-edged sword, I honestly wouldn't give it up if I could.

And *certainly* not to be straight! You talk about wanting a best friend...that's what I have, and I cherish her. I don't think I could have that with a man...he couldn't understand me...there'd always be that disconnect...either a misunderstanding or a sexist assumption or whatever. I'll put it this way...I've never met a man with whom I feel I could have the kind of bond I have with my partner. I've met men I think I could have a relationship with...but not one this deep, I fear. I just have this sense that with a man I would be terribly, terribly *lonely*, missing open-ended female intimacy (and I don't mean having tea...but I also don't necessarily mean ff sex...although I'd miss that too).

So no...no part of me wants to be straight, ty.

 

Sometimes I feel that way. Everyone I know so far is already married and some is on their second kid.(And I am only 22).

All my life I thought I wanted a man. Someone who I can marry and adopt kids(I can't carry a baby due to medical issues.) and have a awesome wedding somewhere outside in a summer and live happily ever after like everyone else.

But after questioning myself for over a year and a half, I realized that's what we are 'supposed' to do. Live the life that we were made to do.

I am not quite ready to even think about getting married right now but I do know right now that it's not going to be with a man

 

This was a issue with me also I wanted chidlren a house a awesome paying job A girl that loves sports it hurt figuring out I was gay it made me feel depressed because I will never have kids no house no good paying job no girl to talk sports or shopping to your family I went through this phase it's a hard process I hope everything works out for you!