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feeling confused, Gay?bi?denial? OCD ? please i need your help

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by yomayo, Feb 15, 2016.

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  1. yomayo

    yomayo Guest

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    hello,
    i'm a 24 years old male, i invite you to read my story.
    When younger, everything in my mind was clear,i worshiped women ( excuse me for the term), i mean by this that i was sexually obssessed by women, i could get an erection just by looking at any woman, my mind was thinking about woman 24/7.
    i had many straight relationships, and i was pretty good at bed, all my ex girlfriends were satisfied sexually, i could ejaculate 3 times a day everyday.I was fighting that sexual obssession because i was anormally horny.
    One day i dated a woman that i was in love with, when we got to bed she was impolite and said stuffs that destroyed me ( i have a little penis - she said that i should have an erection every second ... ), i know those things was irrational because my penis size is normal, and i cant have an erection every second. starting from this point, my sex life changed literraly, my sex drive was gones , my erections was gone ... i was respecting that woman and i was admiring her, so when she said those things, my mind eventho he knew it was irrational but started obssessing about the fact that i lost my sexlife forever .
    Here started my fight my this Obsessive thoughts, i started checking my erection everytime it was possible, i even developed and OCD about checking if the door was locked.
    by time, i could have succesfull sex with woman, but i still was too obssessed about my erection, there was ups and down, but i accepted the fact that i can have sex and sometimes i can fail getting boners.
    recently, i woke up with the strange idea that those erection problems was due to the fact that i was gay. i dont know where this idea came from, but i just woke up with it, and now i have the obsession that i may be gay because i have ERECTION PROBLEMS with woman.
    Please, i want you to know that i have nothing against gay community, i used to have many gay friends, which i supported in their hard times, i am very open minded personn, i believe in love.
    I'm posting this thread in here, because i need help of people from gay community, ive read tons of articles and forum of people having the same problem but im still not conviced ( thats on OCD symptom )
    to summarize, i was always straight, i was sexually obssessed by woman, i developed the idea that i might be gay due to erection problems with woman and i still to this time never had sexual attraction to males, even if i have some intrusive thought and images about it.
    I have no problem if im gay, but deep in my mind i know i still want woman, my life was about woman and i still feel this even if my mind plays stupid tricks to make me suffer.
    What do you think about it ?
    Please help me, im a student and im about to fail this year due to this problem.
    and finally, i apologise for my english . Thank you all for your time and im looking forward for your answer .
     
    #1 yomayo, Feb 15, 2016
  2. legalcharacter

    legalcharacter
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    There are many other reasons you can't get an erection that have nothing to do with being gay or bi. Being stressed is one of them, and that's what it sounds like. As you said, you like women, and always have. You didn't say you ever liked men. This means you are very likely to be straight.
     
    #2 legalcharacter, Feb 15, 2016
  3. soner

    soner
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    Hey like legal character said stress can cause your libido to lower and you wont be able to get an erection until you calm down a bit ive been threw this and I'm still getting over it! it okay to feel confused its scary I know but it doesn't mean your changing! my advice to you in this moment is just go out for a walk everyday go do something that will relax you try to do something that YOU like to make you calm down its hard I know but its the only way you can get rid of your anxiety and as for your erection its natural for its libido to decrease since the amount of anxiety/stress your having change is scary but it doesn't mean your going threw it okay its natural to feel confused loads of people on here go threw it as well so your not alone! I wish good luck to you my friend please stay calm and if you'd like you can message me anytime you want I hope this helped o.o
     
    #3 soner, Feb 15, 2016
    Last edited: Feb 15, 2016
  4. yomayo

    yomayo Guest

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    thanks a lot, a lot, a lot .... you wont never know how the simple words yall just said reduced my anxiety.
    let me ask you some questions, and i promise it will be my last post so that i do not disturb no more :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    1- before having these thoughts, i fingered my anus once while masturbating and i had one of the dopest orgasms. so sometimes i had fantasies about a GIRL fingering me or evening fucking me with a strapon. is it normal for a straight male to have this desire ? ( before this problem, i was very open minded and curious sexually, i would try anything with a girl without having this sexual orientation doubts )

    2- my GF is very rude with me and she is in control of the relation, it aint no problem for me since i love her. do you think being a submissive male in a straight relationship is something i shouldnt worry about ?

    3- why are you gay people so fucking nice and comprehensive? i fucking love you and its really sincere ... RESPECT for you

    and thanks again :slight_smile:
     
    #4 yomayo, Feb 15, 2016
  5. PatrickUK

    PatrickUK
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    Hi there

    I have posted some responses to your questions (in bold) and added a few comments at the end for you to consider. Don't worry about asking questions because we like to help. :slight_smile:

    All of this anxiety is coming at a bad time with the stress of exams, so you're really not in the best place to be musing over sexual performance issues anyway. Don't allow it to distract you like that.

    There is nothing that you have said so far that indicates that you are gay, but if you are having obsessive thoughts about other things too (like checking doors) you might want to consider speaking to a therapist about it because the worries about sex and your sexuality may be part of a bigger and wider issue.
     
    #5 PatrickUK, Feb 15, 2016
  6. yomayo

    yomayo Guest

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    Thank you Mr Patrick, your answers was clear as hell :slight_smile:
     
    #6 yomayo, Feb 15, 2016
  7. Inky

    Inky
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    I've heard that this is a form of OCD (HOCD, I believe?). In any case, any sexual feelings you may experience should only arise from a place of desire and not of distress. If you truly desire men, these desires shouldn't be expressed in your mind as (in your words) "intrusive thoughts and images" which you don't want or you feel doesn't truly represent who you are or how you feel on the inside. Also, any anxiety relating to your performance with women doesn't necessarily mean that you may be gay. It simply means that you have anxiety relating to your performance with women. The same goes for gay men who have performance anxiety with their partners. It doesn't mean that they may be straight, etc.

    I am sorry that that experience with that one woman has caused you anxiety about your sexuality. Rest assured, in the opinion of this gay man, I truly feel that this isn't a question of your sexual orientation but rather an issue of anxiety. From what you have expressed, I really hope you find the help and support you need if you are dealing with any form of anxiety.
     
    #7 Inky, Feb 15, 2016
    Last edited: Feb 15, 2016
  8. yomayo

    yomayo Guest

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    Thanks a lot Inky. Your answer is very helpful
     
    #8 yomayo, Feb 16, 2016
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