I'm a guy who's bicurious/questioning and really curious about being with a guy but I really don't have any interest at all in doing anal, especially as a bottom. Do most guys want or expect it and what's the best, least offensive way to tell them I don't want that?
Hi, and welcome. First, many if not most guys, when they first consider that they may not be straight, are sort of turned off by the idea of anal sex in general, and often bottoming in particular. It's very reasonable to indicate that this isn't something you're comfortable with. One statistic I've heard tossed around... no idea how valid it is... is that about 40% of gay couples do not participate in anal sex. That said... it is also worth exploring what your discomfort is. WIth most people, it's simply the idea of it that's a turn-off, and the fear that it will hurt. If you wanted to explore the idea on your own, it's worthwhile to do so with your fingers (with lots of lube) and perhaps with a dildo. But... only if it's something you want to explore. What I can tell you is that there are an awful lot of people who swore they'd never bottom, and that the idea was gross and disgusting and nasty... and then they tried it and totally fell in love with it.
Thanks for your answers! I suppose a lot of it may just be the idea of it that's a turn off. I am quite sure I will never be comfortable with bottoming as having anything, even a finger stuck up there is extremely unpleasant for me. If it's true that 40% of gay couples don't do anal sex, then that's a relief to me to know I'm not in some tiny minority if it isn't something I ever decide to pursue.
I think any stats are suspect. Suffice it to say there are a large number who don't dig it. That said... I do think it is worth exploration with an open mind.
Myself, as 13 year old boy who loves girls clothes, I wouldn't mind having my BOYFRIEND do anal on me. If I decide to have SRS, I can feel how it will be with a uterus. Until then, I guess I'll have him do it in the rear...
I've heard A to Z. I agree with Chip. Keeping an open mind is a number one priority. And I imagine personally, if you are in love with someone, then said love trumps everything else. I say have fun for gods sake. You are only on this earth in your current form once and only once.
I have a few gay guy friends who do not engage in it. No one is turned on by everything. I also know lesbian women who don't do oral. It's a matter of preference. However, keep an open mind, you never know till you try it.
I certainly have heard of gay men who don't do anal, period. And I heard of plenty more who do it, but do it infrequently. I guess I'd agree with "keep an open mind." That's what I try to do. I personally don't have much interest in the idea of anal--other ideas seem more appealing. But I'm willing to reconsider if the right guy comes along.
