I don't understand the concept of attraction and I never actually did. Unfortunately every sexual orientation is based on the concept of attraction except for queer. Want or interest is another story. I can understand that just fine and I could understand it since I was seven.
Wait, how do you describe the orientation of 'queer'? Queer: 1) An umbrella term sometimes used by LGBTQA people to refer to the entire LGBT community. 2) An alternative that some people use to "queer" the idea of the labels and categories such as lesbian, gay, bisexual, etc. Similar to the concept of genderqueer. It is important to note that the word queer is an in-group term, and a word that can be considered offensive to some people, depending on their generation, geographic location, and relationship with the word.
Okay...but sexuality is literally all about who you're attracted to. Queer, even when used as a blanket term, is still to do with attraction. How are you differentiating between "want" and "attraction?" Because to me, it seems like attraction is just a subconscious function in our brain that's been changed through years of evolution. I could be completely wrong, I'll look it up when I'm at a computer, but to my understanding, attraction is hard-wired into us so that we find the best possible mate. It's a very primal thing.
I think where this analysis is getting into trouble is that queer is not a recognized orientation. Queer is a synthetic category and here it's defined to mean not heterosexual, which maps to a set of recognized orientations = {bisexual, homosexual, and asexual (as clinically defined)}. I'm not sure how to summarize attraction for that set of orientations, so I can see why this is confusing. I'd say that "want or interest" as used by the OP is a synonym for "attraction", which should hopefully clear up the confusion. HTH
It's not a synonym for me. Attraction is that very undeniable feeling when you look at someone and want to have sex with them. That's only happens to me a few times a year and it only started happening for the last few years. Interest or wanting is more of a general and vague feeling. It also happens at a way younger age. I noticed it when I was seven years old. I knew I was more interested in marrying a woman than a man, but I obviously wasn't thinking of sex or attraction back then. Since there's no guarantee I'll suddenly be attracted to guys or I'm secretly attracted to guys right now I just prefer to leave who I'm attracted to out of my identity. When I identity as queer it's my way of saying "I'm not labeling who I'm attracted to, but I definitely won't be happy living a straight life."
Are you trying to distinguish between physical attraction (you look at someone and want to have sex with them) and emotional/romantic attraction (interest or wanting to date/marry a woman)? You are free to identify in whatever way you feel comfortable with. Personally I prefer to use a recognized label, gay in my case, because it avoids confusion and makes it very clear that I'm attracted to other guys both sexually and romantically.
The asexual community splits the hair between desire and attraction, as some people may experience the desire for sex but not feel sexually attracted towards any one particular person, and others may experience sexual attraction towards others but no desire to act on it.
