That is, I started my story. Thank you all. I plan on continuing my search for answers and help - here. Thanks again. If someone resonated with me - A man that has NEVER ID'd as anything but straight - and can be helped (or help me), that it is ALL worth the time and energy. I am straight. Woman intrigue me, turn me on, in general, make me happy to relate to. Men physically do nothing for me…I am truly not turned on by a guys physique or manor. But, all I fantasize sexually (and porno) is about guys. And I esp. fantasize about guys parts and pleasing him…and kissing/hugging/pleasure. I have started to fantasize (a little) about emotionally becoming involved with a guy. Here's a new development…I am relating to guys (just met or striking up a conversation) better. Not worrying about IF I am turned on by him/them, but much more comfortable talking to. Why? Because I am talking about it (on here) more? But, having said that, I am TOO worried about what people think…family, friends…hell, even strangers, to even THINK about talking about it or "coming out" with my feelings - except for here. Can someone relate?
Hi, and welcome. The experience you're having is totally normal. As we confront and negotiate the idea that we aren't straight, there are stages we go through in processing the loss of perception of being straight: denial-anger-bargaining-grief-acceptance. Early in the process, as we start to break through the denial, we do a lot of exploring (mentally) and "what if" scenarios, and over time, we begin to get more comfortable. This is why it seems like our attractions are changing; in reality, what's happening is we're becoming more comfortable with who we are and so our authentic self can begin to emerge. There are also steps and stages to coming out; in most cases, we must first come to acceptance with self before we can come out to others. You're still struggling to accept yourself and believe you can be a good person, and you'll be lovable and worthy as a person as you think about coming out, and that, too, is completely normal. As you develop more confidence and belief in yourself, then you become more comfortable with the idea of coming out. That takes time. And you can take as much time as you want to become comfortable. And this is a big part of why EC exists... so that people just like you can have a safe place to talk about what they're experiencing. So... you're doing exactly what you need to be doing right now. Talking about what's going on, trying on the feelings for size, experiencing yourself in a new way. Take as long as you want and need to do that, and when you're ready, you can start to think about telling others. And when you do, you'll most likely be surprised about how accepting they can be (although that almost certainly seems impossible right now.) But that's not something you need to worry about for now... focus on understanding and loving yourself, talking about your feelings, and the rest will come in time.
Thank you, Chip. So, it is not odd that I think I am "out of place" on here. What's a straight man doing here?!
I can relate to the worry of what others might think. Thats been my fear telling the world this is who I am and how I feel. I've known since 3 or 4 I was different. Being comfortable with yourself and feelings can be a struggle. Glad you are here. It has been wonderful for me to respond to posts. I've searched some that seem odd and off the wall and realized I'm not the only one. Hope you can explore and enjoy the same.
I have often wondered whatI would think or where I would be right now..if I did not worry about others criticism. i cannot say when I knew I was turned on by the thought of a mans genitals. I think about mid 20s. I may have been in deeper denial in my teens or earlier .. or have forgotten/suppressed. Thanks for responding.
That sounds like what happened to me when I first started to exept my identity (I think at this point I would identify as bi with a preference towards girls but I'm still exploring and coming to exept who I am) it kinda just hit me. At first I thought only about girls sexually and then more and more romantically. What ever sexuality you are don't pressure your self. Don't tell your self I want to be gay or I want to be straight. If a thought about a guy comes along just exept it. You'll save a lot of time by not looking
