I am questioning my sexuality I had a boyfriend of 3 years. I broke up with him because I didn't find him attractive and I didn't enjoy the sex. I find guys attractive but I don't seem to find guys sexually attractive. I recently cuddled with this guy that I think is attractive and when he was feeling me up I didn't get turned on at all. I have recently found myself checking out a lot of girls lately. My mom has always thought I was a lesbian and some of my friends think I am. I have been really stressed about this because I can't see myself with a female. I have tried watch straight and lesbian porn. I don't like to watch straight porn and I seem to get off easily to lesbian porn. Any advice is anticipated!
Hi, Patriots9698. Welcome to the forum and all and thanks for posting. I totally understand this confusing situation where everyone seems to think you're gay, but you're sure for so long that you're straight until one day... you're not so sure. My situation is similar, and it sort of annoys me to prove people right, but I always remember that the most important thing is being true to the feelings that make me happy. I would just keep yourself open to the idea of liking girls, and hopefully it will slowly become evident. As I opened myself up to the idea, I got involved in online communities like this, I started to slowly feel normal about lesbian relationships and sex, and this allowed me to end up crushing on a girl. At that point my feelings were so strong I knew I couldn't be straight. Don't focus on porn or what other people think, they aren't the best indicators, just focus on your own feelings. Are you checking out girls because you're worried about being a lesbian because of your experiences with guys or do you just enjoy it? One thing I found helpful btw was looking at all my celebrity crushes throughout my life and realising they were all female... like I had a few male ones but I sort of picked them cos I thought I ought to have some and I got sort of bored of them. On the subject of celebrities and such... I found watching shows like Orange is the New Black helped me feel a lot more comfortable with the idea of dating a girl... And instead of dwelling on porn and such, use your own imagination. Try to imagine yourself with a girl, both emotionally and sexually. As you open up a bit, does that feel right to you? Nobody here can give you a definitive answer about your own feelings. And your feelings are never going to come to a perfect answer either, you have to chill out, see how things happen, and hopefully eventually you'll realise what label you are comfortable with. Yeah, the label comes last; you don't need to be worrying about whether you're a lesbian yet, just muse on the idea of whether you like girls, and the words can come later. I hope this helped a little, and that other people on this forum will be able to help you too.
In my LGBT-friendly circle years ago we had a friend who claimed to not be gay despite other seeing obvious signals. Years ago when we meet incidentaly he was an out gay already. Sometimes people around notice things we don't want to. But think for yourself.
If you're not aroused by guys you like touching you, it's a pretty good indication. I was with my ex boyfriend for four years and I never enjoyed the sex and didn't find him attractive. I honestly never really found any guy attractive sexually. I felt like I had to fake thinking they were hot. Show me a picture of a shirtless guy and I have no reaction to it. But if I see a shirtless woman, I'm instantly turned on. It took me a long time to come to terms with the idea that if I were a lesbian, I would be in a relationship with a woman and not a man. It's not easy sometimes, because you will get people who stare, and life is just a little different in general. Tradition seems to lose its meaning a little bit in my opinion, when you're not straight. Tradition often revolves around gender roles.
