I've just started to come to terms with my sexuality (bi, probably a 4 on the Kinsey scale). I started to accept it and was thinking about coming out in the next two to three months. Then bang I have no sex drive. I feel like sex/ relationships are weird, almost like I'm asexual/ aromantic. When I think about sex it isn't gross, just weird. I keep thinking that I'm straight and want a relationship with a guy yet when actually thinking about the possibility of it happening it just feels weird. Is this normal? Some sort of denial? Or am I actually ace? Or straight?
I didn't actively try to deny my sexuality, but oddly enough I kept overthinking it. Trying to decipher what things mean at that moment are tricky when it comes to sexuality. What I've found helpful is to allow myself to be attracted to anyone. If I find someone attractive, then great! What I'm saying is you could be passively denying your sexuality and would not even notice. Or maybe you aren't! Notice how neutral my statements are? That is how you could approach your sexuality; be open to the possibility of anything.
It is far more likely that the anxiety associated with questioning yourself is impacting your sex drive. Anxiety by itself can completely kill sex drive, which is one of many reasons why the label du hour of 'asexual' or any of the so-called 'spectrum' labels are hopelessly confounded with the often ℅-occurring anxiety or depression. Part of the coming out process involves confronting challenging feelings, and there is almost always a conscious resistance to accepting oneself as gay or bi. So one of the best things you can do for yourself is simply take time, give yourself the opportunity to experience and explore the different feelings, and if you are feeling anxiety or depression, just allow yourself to take the time to work through the feelings.
