I've felt I am bi sexual for a long time but there are a lot of questions. My interest has only ever been sexual and non romantic but actually the idea that excites me is mmf sex. A 3 some where the woman gets turned on by and encourages man on man action. The woman is performing a blow job and beckons me to join her. Generally I can visualise a woman but the guy is just a dick? He is fucking me and im fucking her at the same time. What turns me on here is that she loves it and im excited about being gay and liking girly things with her knowledge. ..maybe some nail varnish or girly underwear. The turn on always involves a woman, her excitement and participation. Also likr the idea of one on one with a woman and her using a strapon on me, maybe making me girly. So I recently became single from a long straight relationship and decided it was time to find out. Ive been to 4 steam houses in the last two weeks. The first time I was nervous and overwhelmed by the lecherous nature of it but also the unattractive weird people...and left. Since then I resolved to go and not leave until I had given at least one if not more blow jobs and really find out if I enjoy it. Ive been really turned on before hand but when inside well, I havent been attracted to anyonr at all. Some ugly people for sure but my last attempt there were a couple of good looking and clean men but I did not feel an attraction or desire to fool around with them at all. I was only there for one reason and nothing did it for me. It could be I'm fussy or it could be im only turned on by the idea, maybe a bit kinky like but actually im straight but slightly fruity? Hehe anyway, probably all sounds weird. Love to hear thoughts on my strange world. Thanks
A bit more... So the women I think of are either very soft and girly or very confident powerfully femine women. Maybe I do some times visualise a guy. ..young white blond pretty and femine and genuine. A girly boy perhaps. I guess I didn't see any like that at the steam house. Im very much a lads lad, love the girls, beer, having fub. I think maybe the taboo or kink of this does it for me and or the difference from who I am, a big turn on. I love women, physically, sexually, emotionally and intellectually . They are amazing, part of my desire I think comes from immense attraction for them, an overload of hormones and wanting to know what they think and feel. I check out women all the time. Men only when I make a conscious effort to see...ive very rarely ever seen a guy and thought I would maybe twice.
This in no way discounts orientation and the like (aka being bisexual) but what you've laid out is more or less reads like what straight identifying male "submissive" types desire in the BDSM scene. I mean almost everything you mention is about pleasing a woman. The guy is almost a prop. I mean if reality does nothing for you (guys) then maybe you're looking in the wrong place. Not for me to say. My point is you might also look at the Femdom/cross dressing straight world before chasing male encounters that don't seem to line up with your personal needs. Just one guy's .02$ PC
What you're saying makes a lot of sense. I have only recently had the freedom and confidence to try to get to grips with this. I'm sick of not knowing and just want to get whatever answers there are. It maybe very ironic if I am not bi after struggling with it so long. I certainly feel more clarity after my recent experiences and your reply. It certainly feels at least a bit clearer. I'm not sure where that would leave me. I guess I need to open up, except being a bit vulnerable and see if there are stable sane women out there that aline. Could be exciting but it sounds a niche world and Im a person that needs people not seperation. ---------- Post added 24th Feb 2016 at 10:22 AM ---------- It might be that any bi side is relatively small on the scale and very specific. I went to an Adult Bookstore (no books) and paid a small amount to cruise the back rooms. The salesperson was a woman and the experience of standing there and her knowing was a turn on. Once inside only old ugly men, I didn't feel anything but there really wasnt anything to dig. Additionally I used to watch an array of straight porn including a little bdsm. These days I solely watch joi videos (jerk off instructions) a woman instructs how to wank and what to think about. My favourites include bi encouragement and femdom. I watch these just about everyday. I assumed this meant I was bi but maybe not? It leaves me in a small world though. How many women are okay with this? I don't want to be weird or different
Ive just come across the terms girlfag and guydyke maybe this is closer to where I am. Complicated stuff
But if we weren't all different, how boring would that be? And as shocking as it sounds women are individuals with their own ideas of what is okay and what isn't. Sarcasm aside it is very easy to see a group or type as a monolith. Doubly so when you see yourself as different. This might sound like a platitude but life is as complicated as you make it. I mean today's world is intent on defining labels down to the subatomic level. Some of that is fine but when the label is more important than taking a deep breath and deciding what direction to go for yourself it no longer serves a useful purpose. Just one guy on the Internet's opinion. PC
