I have never felt anything sexual for women..... Until now. There is this girl at work, she started about 6 months ago - wouldn't say she was stunning, but she looked totally on point in her tomboy style - suit, shirt, neat cropped hair - and she just exuded this confidence - I definitely noticed her! I wouldn't say I felt anything at that point but in my mind I was like 'she is soooo cool!!' A couple of months later her team moved to sit next to mine. And that's where it all began..... I found myself 'noticing' her more and more. I would catch myself 'looking'. And then the feelings started. Holy shit. She started to make me feel nervous. I was noticing her more and more, watching her every move. I loved how she rocked her ear plugs in a corporate environment, how I could see her neck tattoo peaking out the top of her shirt, how she confidently interacted with her team, how she walked around the place, how she pushed her long fringe to one side.... I noticed it all. I haven't stopped noticing it all since. I get excited to see her on a Monday. I get sad when it's Friday and I know I won't see her. I'm gutted when she isn't in the office. I even hate days with lots of meetings because I'm away from my desk and I don't get to see her. I think about her at home. I've tried to stalk her on social media (no luck!). Then the other night, the unthinkable happened. I touched myself in bed while thinking about her and came, hard!! I have even started following certain tomboys on social media and feel the same about them. I am consumed by this..... But..... I have a boyfriend. Someone I love, a lot. Where do I go from here??
Based on what you've said about your experiences, it seems you may be bisexual and into the tomboy-type look in women. This is normal, in fact this is great! You've discovered you like tomboys as well as men - you've opened up to a whole other world of hotness and discovered yourself! haha Seriously, I think there are plenty of people on here that have had this sudden realisation too, and it can be very disorientating, I know, but we're all here for you Now, you say you have a boyfriend and you love him. As long as you are content with this relationship and you feel romantic and sexual attraction for him, then there is no reason to do anything but be faithful to him, ignore this co-worker as you would another attractive man for the sake of your relationship, and try to come to terms with and accept yourself independantly of this woman. You may wish to confide in your boyfriend about what you have discovered about yourself and hopefully he can help you feel supported as you come to terms with this. The only other course of action is if both of you would be happy with a more open relationship in which you could pursue this woman. If you think this is a possiblity and would be something you would want then you need to have a serious conversation with your boyfriend about it. This is the extent of my basic advice. I hope other people reply and help you further, and that you will slowly feel more comfortable with this sudden realisation.
Yeah, sounds like you could be bi. Maybe you just like only masculine women and you might have not seen any before. I don't know how common being a tomboy is but i surely haven't really met anyone (else than me). If you didn't have a boyfriend i would have suggested that you tried to befriend her and get to know her. Just maybe start only being friends with her. That way you could have seen if she really is someone you would be interested as a person. But if you still want to be together with your boyfriend, it might be a bit bad idea if you really fall in love with her. I don't know what kind of a person your boyfriend is, but if you think he would be ok with it, i suggest you tell him you might be bi. He might even be ok for you to experiment with women. Or maybe threesome, if you find someone you both like. But there are many different options and open communication is the key to find the solution that works with both of you. Of course, be warned, it might also go bad, so you have to decide if you can tell him. My opinion is that honesty is the best policy in a relationship.
Thanks for your responses and advice, really appreciated. The fact that I now probably identify as Bi is a complete non issue for me, I have always had a very open mind and in a way I am almost glad that I am, I find it incredibly exciting!! What I do next is difficult for me - I am in a very stable, happy relationship and I could quite happily carry on this way. However I almost feel like in my life I should experience everything I need to experience - and one of those things is now a woman. Could I die happy not having experienced this?? Don't think so... Threesome is definitely off the table - if I was into a typically attractive woman then there might be some possibility but he would never be ok with a tomboy and to be fair I don't think I could have a threesome!! Especially as at this stage I feel it would be nice to have a pure experience with a woman. And then the idea of an open relationship - hmmm, always been quite sceptical about those, although I looooovvvve the idea of living with both of them and flexing depending on my mood, ha ha. I can't talk to my guy about how I'm feeling because I know exactly how I would feel if the shoe was on the other foot.... I would definitely be-friend this girl - if only I could get over how hot I find her and could have enough confidence to make eye contact with her. In reality I feel like my only option is to just live with these feelings, hope that maybe one day she starts a conversation with me (maybe we can become friends!!) and live a happy but unfulfilled life?? I need this in my life somehow....
This reminds me of when I met my lovely coworker just over 2 years ago, I'd never had such strong feelings for a girl before. It comes as a surprise when it's never happened to you before!
