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Questioning while in a relationship

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by aboo874, Feb 28, 2016.

  1. aboo874

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Boston
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Hi! Just looking for some advice. I'm a female who dated males before I started questioning my sexuality. A few years ago, I started wondering if I was a lesbian and began exploring. It felt right as if everything just clicked. I ended up coming out to friends and family as being a lesbian. Fast forward a few years and I'm currently in a relationship with a female for about 1.5 years. However, I've been questioning my sexuality for a few months now.

    There's a big part of me that wants to explore being with men again. I always wonder if that's what I truly want - but on the other hand, I'm terrified to leave my girlfriend who I'm so in love with. She's the best girlfriend I've had so far and my family loves her. We've even talked about marriage. I know I need to communicate with her, but I fear saying the wrong thing. PLEASE Help!
     
  2. Lipstick Leuger

    Full Member

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    Maybe you are Bisexual. If you love her, are attracted to her and want to be with her, it really does not matter what your label is nor who you were with or any of that. No one person can meet all of our desires, so it is up to you to think about what you truly want and see if your girlfriend, that you love is willing or able to provide it. Communication is key, you don't have to say you are questioning if you should be with a man again. Just think and figure it out what you want, then ask her for it.

    If it makes you feel any better, it is common for us to question ourselves. That is part of being raised in a heteronormative environment that makes us think deep in ourselves that maybe we would be better off with an opposite sex partner or that we can't be 100% happy with the one we have. I have been with my partner for 11 years now and I have questioned it from time to time of "Am I really Bi?" "Could I have been as happy with a man as I am her?" but I recently had my Femme lesbian status proven to me. We have this new Paramedic that comes into where I work and I met her a few days ago. She was a Butch gal and obviously a lesbian. I actually felt my heart palpitate, I stuttered when I talked to her and I blushed because the chemistry was THAT strong. I know beyond a fact, that I have NEVER felt that way with a man and I will never.

    I hope this helps a bit.