I don't even know how to start it, I'm so confused. I'm 27 soon and by now I thought I had everything figured out about my sexuality, well I guess I was wrong. All my life I assumed I was a straight woman, more or less, bi-curious at best. I have only been in relationships with men, and my only experience with women is limited to kissing (mind me, not for attention at bars or parties, I just liked it). I thought that my little "adventures" with women were just fun and even though I wouldn't mind going to bed with another girl if I had a chance, I always thought I wouldn't be able to develop romantic feelings for a person of same gender. It was so obvious to me I wasn't even giving it a thought - some women seemed attractive to me, but I would rather stick with men, for I value relationships based on mutual love higher than those based only on a short-termed passion and I would hate to hurt someone. And yet, this week, I've met a woman. We talked only briefly, but during this short encounter I felt growing interest in her, as never before. I got anxious and basically fled from conversation. This one meeting seems to be a small revelation to me - I still think about her, and as weird as it may sound, I guess that maybe I underestimated my capability of having romantic feelings toward a woman? This has been bugging me for days now, I've been through so many articles about bisexuality that I can't count now, yet I'm unconvinced. Is it possible that at the age of 27 I may turn out to be bisexual? What's going on with me? I'm even more confused now than when I was 13. I don't even know if it's about that one woman, or if it was some sort of a turning point for me, or it even means anything. Please help. :icon_redf
It might be that you didn't notice something before. For example, I managed to blush and have an increased heartbeat every time I saw one girl or came closer to her, be ashamed to talk to her, get a thrill from being accidentally touched by her, because she was so stunning, and still think I didn't have a crush on her. In retrospect and having more understanding of feelings in general because of age, it makes more sense. And even if not noticing/understanding is not the case for you, it's still possible that you simply turned bisexual. Sexuality is a wierd thing and may fluctuate in many dimensions.
In retrospect, I think I could have had a slight crush on my friend - I used to tell her I loved her, meaning like a friend, but also sometimes imagining, how it would be to have sex with her and feeling a bit jealous of her, but that's the thing of the past. Funny thing is, I'm a psychology student and before this week I had no idea that sexuality is fluid to some extent! I've been in a therapy for last 3 years due to emotional problems and thanks to this I'm now feeling more confident with my feelings than anytime before, maybe that's why this sudden realization came to me just now? Anyway, thank you for your answer, it's an awkward time for me and any kind of answer is a consolation in my confusion!
My experience with therapy is the same. I went to therapy year ago, figured I'm bi half a year ago and just figured I feel like a dude now... I'm no longer in therapy, but still, it has made me a lot more aware of my feelings and taught me the habit of asking myself the question what I'm feeling and anwsering it inside my head. Life would be boring if we knew everything straight away
My Boyfriend was 28 when we met, He had only ever dated or hooked up with girls in the past. I was the very first guy he was intimate with, first sexually, and then feelings developed and we started our relationship. He went through quite a bit of self-discovery during that time. He also had some psychological and emotional difficulties growing up that may have led to him not fully realizing or developing his same-sex feelings until later on (his hypothesis). If I remember correctly, he knew he had some very mild attraction to men ever since college I believe, but it got much stronger once he met me. His quality of life has improved drastically as well since that time (he was very conflicted about many things, his sexuality being one of the main ones, when we first met).
Oh my, that's a lot to discover in such a short time! How do you manage all those emotions? I knew I like girls in sexual way before and only discovered that I may like them in romantic way too and I'm freaking out! This sounds exactly like mine hypothesis now, also his experience looks a bit like mine (I don't know his full story of course, but it seems generally similar)
Emmm, it's not that I didn't know I feel it, I just didn't write =4 at the end of 2+2. I thought everyone feels the same way and I'm perfectly the average hetero girl and that every hetero girl is bi with a preference for men and that every girl is pretending girl behaviour because patriarchy, gender roles, opression or something. I didn't understand it, simply. How do I manage? Absolutely no idea. I just let it flow.
