I'll try to keep this short and sweet as possible. I have identified as bi for almost 2 years after kissing my best friend and a few other girls, and realizing I really, really liked it. I then proceeded to fall in love with my best friend after we had a little thing. She then decided she was straight, which hurt a lot, and I kept my feelings to myself. My parents used to joke about me beng a lesbian because I didnt have boyfriend until I was almost 17. I've only had lesbian wet dreams(sorry tmi haha). And only masturbated to lesbian porn or girls masturbating. Never been intimate with a girl, but kissing a girl was the most amazing thing. And Ive aways had boyfriends, but I never really liked them, it never felt "right". I fooled around with a few guys, and had to tell myself I should enjoy it. I lost my virginity at almost 18, and I really didn't like it. I was like wow, what was everyone fussing about, stimulating yes, enjoyable, not so much. Later on I was in a sexually abusive relationship with a guy. And since then I've fooled around with men, slept with them, and I have never developed serious feelings, even before the bad relationship. And I never really liked the sex, I'm not sure why I slept with guys. It felt okay, but I honestly couldn't wait for the sex to be over, and I only enjoy it if intoxicated(alcohol or bud). I have now been dating a guy for 5 months, only done oral, and I liked kissing him, I got this light airy feeling for a month or 2. I love him as a person, but I find nothing physically attractive about him. I get bored with sexual interactions. And the more I think about women, the more I avoid kissing him and getting intimate. And Im afraid to leave and hurt him and this just be a long phase. Has anyone else been in a similar situation and have advice? Im tearing myself aprt over this :/
I was in the exact same position as you. Your past relationships with woman are exactly like mine! I totally understand how you feel. I ended up in a relationship witha few guys but it never felt 'right'. The only way to find out if you want to date woman is to date woman! I honestly 100% understand how you feel. If you want to chat or ask any questions feel free to message me. I felt depressed for many uears and if i can help one person not feel the way i did and be there for them then joining this page will be worth it. Hope you are ok. (*hug*)
It is difficult but the first thing you need to do is accept yourself for what you could be. Gay, straight, bi.....none of it matters. You need to be comfortable in yourself and comfortable with the fact you could be gay. You are still the same person. Your sexuality does not define you. I knew deep down i was gay. The pounding heart feeling i got when i was close to another female was one i never got with a guy. For me my answer was in the kiss......kissing a woman left me breathless and wanting something more. Kissing a male was ok but nothing more than that. (*hug*)
