teenage-y hormones, can't really talk with friends

I feel like my I'm either not close enough with friends to talk with them about this. And the one I'm closest with, (kind of)used to be my crush, which she knows, so I don't think I'd be comfortable talking about this with her.
Okay, sometimes I just feel like such a teenager, which I know, sounds weird, but I'm 16.5 years old now, but I've never had an actual boy/girlfriend or even kissed anyone, same as almost all my friends. But sometimes I just long to kiss someone or hold someone, or just be couple-y. I also dream about it sometimes, just stupid things, like holding hands with someone, but I can remember it so clearly.
I don't know, I just wanted to talk about this, I mean, I'm sure I'm not the only one, but I don't feel I can talk about this with friends.

 

yeah, I know, it just sucks, like a lot :/

 

I just don't know how to even begin with actually having anything like that. Also, I occasionally have dreams about my best friend, whom I've had/have a crush on. It's really awkward, because I told her how I felt about her, awkward situations, blabla, she wasn't sure, at last she said she didn't feel the same. So I've been trying to get over her, but now I'm never sure if I still like her or not, and then the dreams are extra confusing :/ Plus that I have been a bit less close with her because I'm trying to get over her, but I feel like she has been getting closer lately, asking me to have a sleepover, have a movie-marathon, asking me to go to a concert together, texting me more etc. This sometimes just makes me just want to do something, but I know that if I would, she wouldn't want it and I know I shouldn't even think about it. By the way, it's crazy how many people have liked her and how she's rejected all of them(she once, a long time ago said that she first thought she might be a-sexual/romantic, but that she wasn't) (there have been like 4/5 up until now).
blegh