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So, here I am...

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by littlelate, Mar 9, 2016.

  1. littlelate

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Tennessee
    Gender:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
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    A few people
    I find it odd to be here at this point in my life. All my life I've been attracted to men. Never even considered being with a woman that I can remember. Or is it possible that the mind can deny those feelings without my being aware? Or is it possibly to just begin being attracted to the same sex. I suppose that's where my confusion is.
    Several years back my husband (now my ex) suggested we get some porn to spice things up. No problem... I'd seen it before. One of the videos had several girl-on-girl scenes... Again.. No problem. I'd seen it before and can appreciate an erotic scene. This time it was different... I really enjoyed it as much as the straight scenes.
    Flash forward... I'm now divorced and dating a guy. He asks me if I'd ever thought about being with a woman... And until that moment, I never had. Not that I'm aware. The more I considered it, the more interesting it became. We split up... And I was still thinking about it. Interesting turned into desire.... And I find myself thinking about it more and more. I'm still very much attracted to men. And, I seem to want a emotional relationship with a male... But I am still very attracted to the idea of being with a woman. I say idea because I've never been with one. Not even a drunken kiss at a college party. And it's now to the point that the thought excites me as much as being with a man.
    The past few years have brought about many changes in my life. I am finally in an emotional place in my life that I'm really happy. I'm not in a relationship now and haven't been for well over a year. I'm good with that. I'm not desperate to find someone. I feel like when its right, it'll happen. Sure I get lonely at times. When I do, I seem to "miss" having a man. But sexually... I want both.
    I've read that some bisexuals are attracted to both equally, while others care emotionally drawn to one or the other, but physically to both.
    So... I guess my questions are this. Are there others who have had this come up later in life. I'm 48... So I guess this has been coming about about 6 years.
    Do some of you find that you are emotionally attracted to one or the other?
    I'm still new and going through the forum posts. I have to say, I love how everyone is so nice and straight forward with offered help, comfort and advice. Thank you.
     
  2. Pinky

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    I've been in the same boat but I can't say if this technically can be considered to be later in my life as I'm 22. I'm still considered young? Up until after high school, into my college years I've never seen myself interested in women at all. I've always fell for guys. Until my friend and I were talking about the idea and ever since then the thought of women interested me and over time that interest grew a lot. Since it did spike up so randomly and I never been interested in women til then I thought it was a phase. But it never went away...so I was in denial for 2 years. That same friend ended up liking me and I started liking her too. Even then I was still in denial. Once we started dating and did things I couldn't lie to myself anymore. I still question since it started from an interest...was I really bisexual? I am in a relationship with a girl that I like physically and emotionally but realizing later like that...how can that be? I don't know if I'm any help since I still question the same thing...but that is my story.
     
  3. littlelate

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    Bisexual
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    A few people
    It does help somewhat, to know others have had it come about in a similar way. I don't know that I was in denial so much. I guess for a long time I just kind of thought of it "hot as a fantasy"... An erotic image. Stimulation. But not anything I wanted or could see myself acting on if the opportunity presented. If there was any denial it was likely me thinking I was considering it "for him" and while I may enjoy it, I wouldn't have otherwise. Ultimately I would never allow a lover to push me into something I didn't want.
    But I suppose once he was removed from the picture, I realized it was something I was interested in very much, but only in a physical way. I can't imagine myself in a relationship. To be fair though, that opportunity hasn't come about, and that could change.
     
    #3 littlelate, Mar 9, 2016
    Last edited: Mar 9, 2016