Hi, I'm Chinaski, I'm 25, I'm new here, and I'm super confused. I barely know where to start or how to express what I'm feeling/thinking so I'm not sure how coherent this will be, but please bear with me. I pretty much thought I was heterosexual by default until the end of last year. The reason I thought I was heterosexual is because I hadn't really thought about my sexuality before. I'm not sure why. Maybe I repressed things or maybe I just wasn't interested (guess I might be a "late bloomer"). Not sure. Anyway, I have felt things I haven't really able to explain or understand for years but I didn't allow myself to think about them until last year. Since then I've realised I might be bisexual or biromantic (if I'm on the asexual spectrum, which I might be). I'm not sure though and it's really confusing. I mean, really confusing. All I know is that I'm not comfortable calling myself heterosexual. It feels like a lie. I feel like I'm probably "bi-" something but my brain is trying to tell me that I'm just imagining things, making things up, and that I'm insane for even thinking I might be bi. My brain is trying to tell me that it's a phase and that the attraction I think I've felt is just a figment of my imagination. Something that makes this even more complicated is the fact that I'm in a heterosexual relationship. My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years. He doesn't know about my confusion. I've been thinking about telling him but I don't know whether or not that's a good idea. I don't know anything. I'm very confused. I don't think I've been able to adequately convey my thoughts and feelings on this subject and I haven't really given you any details, but I don't want this to be too long. I don't want to be annoying. I'm fine with sharing details if anyone's interested though. Anyway, I just wanted to get this off my chest since I don't really have anyone to talk to about this "in real life". Thanks for reading. Chinaski ---------- Post added 10th Mar 2016 at 09:07 PM ---------- Basically, I'm looking for some help figuring things out. I know no one can tell me what I am but I think I need some help just processing all of this. Any thoughts/advice?
Well, I'm glad you found EC. I to am in a hetero relationship (I'm actually married) I've not came out to my wife yet, but I have just accepted I'm gay. I have known my whole laugh but repressed it. But I'm finally accepting it, I will be coming out to my wife once school term is over. She teaches and this will give her the summer to work through it. If you want more info on me let me know. If there is more you want to share feel free
Thank you for the reply, warrner. Sounds like you're in a very tricky situation. Trickier than mine. I hope you're okay. I'm really confused. If I'm bisexual/biromantic I don't seem to be 50/50 attracted to guys and girls respectively. It sort of fluctuates. When I was a teenager I was mostly (exclusively?) into guys while I'm more into girls now (except for my boyfriend). I've heard that's quite normal when you're bi though. Anyway, how do I know I really experience attraction towards people of the same sex? I think I've had crushes on girls (depending on how one defines crushes I guess) but I'm not 100 % sure. Would it be OK if I told you about my supposed crushes so that you could maybe help me figure out if they were crushes or not? Also, I feel like I should add that I've never been with someone of the same sex. Not that I have to in order to know whether or not I'm bisexual/biromantic, but still.
