I like romance better with guys, but sex with women turns me on more.

In the long term, if you foresee having any sort of a good relationship with him you have to be honest. If you tell him early on it might be easier for him to accept this as a part of you as opposed to feeling like he was deceived in thinking you are gay. I understand now that it's not easy to express these things because you may be afraid of losing someone important to you because of ignorance. But think about this, anyone whose ignorant enough to walk out of your life for that reason is probably not a very good candidate for you as a life partner.

In any case, I think you have good reasons to be happy. The fact that you are worried about your future together shows that you care, and I feel like everything else would fall in place naturally. I wish you all the best.

 

You do sound nice,
And even though you can get sad, (like me), I think you may be in a good place, I'm a male and could have written just what you did, but I like gills more romantically and men more sexually,

I think so far in my life the romantic and relational side has won out and I am fairly happily married with a teen aged daughter,

On issue I want to bring to this the following,:

A friend of mine who is female has had relationships with men and women and considers herself straight because,,,"I could ever be I love with a girl".

I consider myself gay mostly I think because I feel you are what you like sexually.

I've wondered if I were female I like my friend I would consider myself straight.

Men in our society are supposed to be more decisive and sexual attraction is much clearer than feelings of relationship.
You almost sound like you think you are " really " straight to me.... But would that be because you like me label more according to what the culture expects?

---------- Post added 14th Mar 2016 at 04:51 PM ----------

Continued...

What if I'm a man labels sexuality based on physical sex...
And you maybe are a man who feels the la el is about relationship,

I'm vulnerable hear and confused but these are my thoughts.

 

I think you shouldn't worry about that, as with the right female, sex will help youou'll find develop romantic attachment to her, too.

Omla..I feel the same as you. Could you please share some details how your marriage worked? I'm single, but want to get married ( to a girl).
Thanks.

 

You could be homoromantic heterosexual. Keep in mind that your romantic and sexual orientation can be different.

 

Well....
Not bad overall!
I do privately do simple sexual non health risk activities in gay saunas and at gay massage places in NYC.

The marriage has been emotionally satisfying but not fully sexually satisfying.

I will never know if the limitations in the marriage are a result of harboring a minor version of a secret life, or a greater homosexual aspect ", (and perhaps less heterosexual one) than I
Am consciously aware of.

I can tell you I do feel guilty.... But I can also tell you I truly feel the partnership and parenthood has been immeasurably a great and wonderful thing for all three are of us....

Go figure..... Get back to me? Thanks

---------- Post added 15th Mar 2016 at 05:34 PM ----------

I feel we are what we are sexuality whether we know clearly what that is or not...
I think our relational orientation (a term I prefer to romantic, since it seems for many people who have, in many aspects,fulfilling relationships, romance fades), is maybe not always tied to the sexual. I know how I experience the two aspects, and to be honest I have no clue how others truly feel since I have only what they verbalize...(on this site for example), to go by. They could even be in denial. I might be as well..... I can only go by what I think, and I have a total right to make decisions aboutt how I conduct my love life by myself.... If I am wrong maybe I'll find out and change, but I've obsessed about it this too fucking much and I love refer to live!

 

Let me say we are both unusual. I have a ? Which is more high up on priorities... Sex or relationships....?
Also,
Are you more into sex with women or dating and relationship with guys.

Again, I can't believe that I found someone in the same position as me who is the polar opposite preference wise in terms of relationship/ sex!

---------- Post added 16th Mar 2016 at 11:14 AM ----------

I also wouldn't expect myself to be perfectly honest.

People with herpes rarely tell people right away...

I have personally possibly missed out on a chance for a great relationship because someone was too honest with me too soon and I dumped.... A little deception isn't always life threatening.

My wife doesn't know I'm bi, and in fact up till about 4 years ago in terms of activity I wasn't, I was straight... Only 1 time mutually masturbating with someone 30+ years ago.

Other than than, zero till 4 years ago... I very likely would haveruined my marriage by
telling my wife 18 years ago and what would I get? No great music career and family and friends.... No daughter.... I say to those who would criticize my choices... Fuck your moralizing!!!!

 

I certainly was not saying that you should never tell, only not immediately.....
I don't really appreciate your tone as I was only trying to help, and I feel your being judgemental.
Too bad,
Good luck

---------- Post added 16th Mar 2016 at 11:59 PM ----------

Also, I would like to have found such a women but was much more unclear when we married 16 years ago....

 

It is very sweet of you to apologize.
Remember that I am quite a bit older than u, and of course am a different person.
Life looks really different at 58!

... Actually for me it looks better generally.

I accept your apology and if I was showing off my supposed "settledness" out of any insecurities about my choices, (I certainly have them), I am sorry as well.

 

... Or comfortable being not certain who I am.