Growing up I had crushes on guys. I always thought some girls were pretty, but never thought anything more. I knew I wanted to date and marry a guy. I was not boy crazy and did not talk about boys the same way as girls around me, but I knew I liked boys. Throughout my life all I wanted was a boyfriend, but every time a guy wanted to date me I got scared and became un attracted. Fast forward to today, I am fully aware that I like girls a lot and I think they are more than just pretty. But my attraction to guys has completely disappeared and I don't know why. The only thing I ever wanted was a boyfriend and now I really would hate that. I would not mind a girlfriend though. I don't know what is happening. What does this mean? am I just making up for years and years of denying that I like girls and I will go back to also liking guys later? Or does this mean I liked guys until I realized girls were so much better and I will never go back? I don't know what is going on and I am kind of afraid because my life is not the same. All I think about are girls! I accepted my attraction to women about 2-3 years ago and after that, all I thought about was women and being with a woman. I assumed I was bisexual because I liked guys before. I thought my feelings would return, but ever since those 2-3 years they have not! I don't care about guys, I don't fantasize about guys, I am unfazed by a 'hot guy' talking to me. I do, however; fantasize about women, get nervous around cute girls and check them out all the time. Does this mean I am actually a lesbian? I suppose I would not mind that, but it's hard because I thought of myself as straight pretty much my entire life! and this will create so many obstacle for me. I wish I could tell someone in real life about what is going on, but I am so scared.
Sexual orientation can change and it can vary and it's okay. You don't have to worry about labeling yourself and you can just be and like who you like. Sounds like you are mostly attracted to girls for now and that's totally fine and wonderful! If it's girls for only a while, great! If you someday have a crush on a guy, cool! If you only have eyes for women, awesome! If it's guys every other week, go and do that! Seriously, I wouldn't worry about it too much if I were you. You seem to be okay with liking girls, then you should do that for now and as long as it feels right and comfortable for you. It can be forever or it can change in the future but now you should just let yourself be you.
OMG this is a lot like me... I was totally into the idea of dating guys until I accepted liking girls somewhat and then suddenly all I could think about was girls and guys seem like the most insignificant things and the idea of having a boyfriend just seems a bit sad. All I wanna fantasize about is girls and yeah, hot guys are just like nice scenery and they all blend into each other now. I'm starting to feel like maybe because I was focused on the guys I didn't realise that there was something fundemental missing in my vision of being with them? And now I see it in girls, the lack of it in guys is just blinding me? Not in a bad way... its a good thing. I don't want a lifeless straight relationship.
