I've come to the conclusion that I'm either bisexual with a low sex-drive or biromantic asexual/grey-asexual. I don't really look at someone and think "I'd like to have sex with that person" but I definitely feel attracted to people and think that I want to kiss them, cuddle them, be physically close to them etc. I just don't really feel the need to touch people's genitals and have sex. I have sex from time to time, just not nearly as often as most people seem to and I don't really initiate it. Most of the time I'd much rather watch a movie, kiss, cuddle, read a book or something. However, sometimes I feel like I want to have sex. In general, not with someone specific. The more I think about it the more curious I am about having sex with people of the same sex, which is something I've never tried. Sometimes I wonder if I'd be more interested in sex if I a) tried having sex with people of the same sex, b) was less insecure and liked myself more, or c) didn't think bodily fluids were gross. But if that's the case, shouldn't I experience sexual attraction anyway? How do I know if I experience sexual attraction? How is sexual attraction actually defined? How do I know if I'm bisexual with a low sex-drive or if I'm biromantic but asexual/grey-asexual?
From what you described, I don't think this sounds like asexuality. I think asexuals don't have the urge or curiosity to have sex at all, and most only do it to please someone else. They might enjoy the physical sensation, but there is no real interest beyond that. Likewise, non-asexual people are all different. Some imagine having sex with anyone who walks down the street, and others can only be sexually attracted to a very special someone (such as a close friend or someone they know well). Some non-asexuals have very low sex drives and are grossed out by sex, others have sex all the time. Some are even celibate and don't want sex at all. The difference is that they have the desire to have sex in general and can find people attractive. The asexual community likes to stereotype non-asexuals as hypersexual monsters who who fuck anyone that moves and is horny 24/7, but I've actually found this to be a minority and not common at all.
The majority of the time I don't have an interest in sex at all and then there are days when I do have an interest in it, but those days are rare. I also feel a bit bad because I don't really feel interested in having sex with my boyfriend but I'm really curious about having sex with a woman. Not really the act itself but just being that intimate with someone of the same sex. Does that make sense? Also, there are people who identify as grey-asexual who sometimes experience sexual attraction and an interest in sex. Really don't know where to draw the line between being grey-asexual and sexual with a low sex-drive though. True.
I also think it really depends on the person and what label they want to give themselves. I would technically be considered "demisexual/demiromantic" by the asexual community terms, but I don't identify with the ace community and find gray-asexuality labels pointless as they describe many sexual people I know (who also do not relate to the asexual community). Normally 'homosexual but celibate' , 'gay and no sex drive', or 'celibate until the right person' works for me, and are the labels I am comfortable with. Again, this is an individual case.
I have three theories for you (i really put a lot of thought in this ) 1. Did you ever have an orgasm? Because I had a friend who doesn't like to have sex.. and when she did, usually it was really fast. Talking more with her i discover that her lack of interest in sex is was due to the fact she could come. 2. Have you tried to see an endocrinologist? Your lack of sexual desire could be physiological, too! Don't rule this option out. 3. Why are you waiting for to have sex with the same sex? I always thought men are disgusting until I kiss my first girl.. from then on, my world just clicked Sorry if I was too invasive, I was trying to help (*hug*)
Yes, I've had orgasms. I haven't seen an endocrinologist but I've had blood samples taken and I don't have any deficiencies or anything (as far as I know). I'd love to try being intimate with someone of the same sex but I'm in a monogamous relationship with someone of the opposite sex. I think I love him so I don't really know what to do. :icon_sad:
