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Could you be with someone you love but aren't sexually attracted to?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by HerrinDesFeuers, Mar 21, 2016.

  1. HerrinDesFeuers

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    Hey,

    since I think that I could generally fall in love with a person of any gender but can't imagine having sex with anyone with a penis, I often wonder what would happen if i fell in love with a person with a penis and that person also fell in love with me.
    I don't know if I could have sex with a penis if there were enough feelings involved. Of course an open relationship would be an option, but I am too shy to find people for casual sex. Also, I find the thought of having sex with the person I love more appeling, even though I think that sex and love can perfectly work without each other.

    Do any of you whose romantic and sexual orientation don't match either have the same thoughts? How do you deal with this 'dilemma'? Have you ever been in such a situation and what did you do?
     
  2. Secrets5

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    Hello,

    I'm sexually attracted to both sexes, but for other reasons irrelevant to sexuality I don't see myself ever having sex. I've never been in a relationship but I think in the future I'll just be honest with that person when it gets to the point of them wanting it, and then talking it through with them. Since every relationship is different I won't be able to say what will happen or not, but that talking point is my plan.

    And to answer your top question, it is possible to be with someone you're not sexually attracted to, gay men had to do it for years marrying women, and there was lesbian separatism during the 1960s [to give a straight and gay example] so possible either way. I'm not sure if there's a difference by force or by choice as to whether it makes a difference to someone's happiness levels, but if you want to go out with someone you don't find sexually attracted to, I'm pretty sure there's no law against it.
     
    #2 Secrets5, Mar 21, 2016
    Last edited: Mar 21, 2016