Hello! People are often trying to make people choose "queer," in my experience, if they don't want to label themselves, but what if queer is not a label you're comfortable with (for many different reasons)? Is it ok to sit comfortably in not labeling? The more I think about queerness, the less I want to be included in it (for personal reasons), but when I explain my sexuality (without outing myself), people say that's queer and not labeling as queer is strange. What are your thoughts?
You are the only person who has the right to decide how to label yourself, and if you don't want to label yourself at all, that's perfectly okay. I don't really label myself, either. I don't mind being called or calling myself gay, lesbian, homosexual etc. But that's just because I think that's what describes my sexuality best and it's the easiest way, not because I need it for myself to 'know who I am' or something like that.
I really don't like when people push the label "queer" onto others. There are lots of reasons to be uncomfortable with that word. It is absolutely okay to not label yourself. If people tell you you're queer, feel free to tell them they're wrong because you're not "queer" if that's not a word you want to use for yourself.
"Unlabeled" is delightfully paradoxical. If you want to avoid irony, you might try "I eschew labels". To the OP, I'd say you're just talking to silly people. Calling anyone strange for not labeling a certain way is...strange. I would especially think queer people would realize this (I'm going to assume that the person who told you this identifies as queer :icon_wink).
Awesome responses, I appreciate the support. Yes, queer identified friends have told me this. They think not labeling is some kind of cop out. I don't think I owe anyone a label but it does make me nervous to know people in the queer community have those opinions since I'm just navigating the dating world fully. I legitimately got side eye from folks when I mentioned my sexuality is fluid and based on emotion. I guess I'm complicated because I can find people attractive and not want to have sex with them at all unless there's an emotional connection and gender doesn't phase me at all. Granted, I'm no expert and had my first real "i want to date you" female experience just recently, but I also don't like/fall for people very often to begin with. I'm rambling but you get what I'm saying, i hope.
