I think my sexuality and romantic oreintation disagree...

That is truly a tough one.. I have no experience in that area but I think you've come to the right place to find people that can help. Just finally saying it out loud (or electronically) has to be some sort of relief. There's an answer out there someplace.... I'm still looking and questioning things. This is my place to center myself... good luck!

 

I understand how you feel as I sometimes feel like my sexual and romantic feelings are mismatched in different ways. Your situation sounds really difficult. I would say that you don't need to have sex with your partner to raise a family or have a successful relationship. Many asexual people have relationships that don't involve sex, so maybe you could think about that option when dating women. And I know you seem to not want it but some people are also in poly-amorous or open relationships which might suit you? I can't help but suggest it. And there's always just trying to date different women or men and seeing how you feel in those situations instead of hypotheticals.

I don't have much more advice than that other than suggesting you try and research more of this type of situation online (which I guess you're doing right now) as I'm sure you are not alone. I know for sure a lot of people have mismatching feelings like this and that it can be difficult to deal with but there's always an answer. I hope things feel better for you soon.

 

I am romantically and sexually attracted to women, but far more sexually attracted to men. Can't imagine being romantically attracted to men though , but wonder of that is just cos I don't have a lot of experience with them, which I now hope to remedy. I guess in my case the answers will only come with being with men and seeing if it is just like my hetero relationships and some people you fall for others not. I hope so as I don't want to make it all about sex, but am torn as I need love too.

 

Being somewhere on the bi spectrum myself, I find that the two align very rarely for me. When they do it's great, but sometimes they don't. I'm guessing it won't always be this way and it won't be like this with every person. Or maybe you will find one sexual partner and form close romantic bonds with others as well. Maybe you just really need friendships in your life. Just live your life, the rest will follow.