I've tried before to pinpoint my sexuality, but I'm not sure I even totally understand what that means. It's like this... I can appreciate and enjoy the sensual beauty of any gender, especially men. However when it comes to sexual intercourse, or fascination/attraction to genitalia, I'm completely disinterested. I have "attractions" but lack want of sex. Even if I found someone ravishingly beautiful and had all the opportunity, I wouldn't want to bed them. A bit confused, but what would you say this sounds like? Could I be bisexual/pansexual simply with a low libido, or some kind of asexual? I don't think I'm stone-cold ace, because I feel attraction. But I also don't feel comfortable with idenfying wholly as a sexual person (be it gay, straight, or bi) because I am somewhat repulsed by the idea of sex (that is, of me personally doing it - I can 'understand' it from a biological perspective as well as others' need for it). But what is sexual attraction, even? What is its technical definition? I don't feel like I experience *sexual* attraction because the association with that kind of intimacy. On the other hand I feel as if I'd make for a horrible partner to anyone should I refuse them any kind of sexual intimacy, so that plays into my aversion to romance (among other things). A side note is that I have "problems" with physical touch and closeness. I've always a had tactile sensitivity and hate being hugged, touched, forced to shake hands or high five people... Just don't like people touching me unless I specifically request or anticipate it. So with something as vulnerable and intimate as sex, it would be breaking down a lot of personal barriers. Could this play a role with how sexuality is expressed? Any insight is appreciated.
I spent quite a lot of my time on AVEN (Asexual Visibility & Education Network) and they define sexual attraction as an inherent desire for partnered sex (at least, I think the FAQ says something of the like; I don't know the exact wording). Whichever way you define it, there are definitely some people out there who are attracted to people in pretty much the normal way except they don't want sex. So yeah, I'd say that it seems possible that you could be asexual. I'd advise you to just keep searching and evaluating how you feel.
