Ever feel like your religious background/skin color just doesn't fit in with how society or even lesbian culture views a homosexual should be? Like Asians. I'm Asian and there are no visible Asian lesbians here and I'm in a fairly liberal part of the U.S of A, and I sometimes have doubts because every cele(s)bian I see is white--Ellen DeGeneres, Portia, etc. Exception may be some of the gals on Orange is the New Black (but I'm not sure if they're "Real" lesbians, ya get me? I haven't Wiki'd the actors' actual orientations). I'm very insecure because I'm on the smaller side, but I think I'd be great top in bed. Thing is, who's gonna see me for who I am if I'm just this lil' petite thing on the outside? It's not a question of just being beautiful or sexy but of being desirable. I worry I can't make a girl feel safe, even if I can make her feel happy. I just am not built to protect or to carry a girl over a threshold. I'm very small, my Asian DNA made me that way. Sure I'll age GREAT, but who's gonna look at me and think, "Hey, Sarah, check her out. What a stud."? P.S. I hate the term "colored" because it just sounds like something out of a crayon box and it don't sound right on a gay forum. Caucasians, please join in on the convo because I'm sure you've faced prejudice in some way too. ---------- Post added 25th Mar 2016 at 02:58 AM ---------- Oh. Top that with the fact that I would look like an Asian guy if I ever go butch (no offense to Asian guys, but they tend to be built lighter, which isn't a bad thing).
I'm half black half white. British. Tbh I've never really given much thought to my own race. Some people have brought it to me when I was young, and most of my life I've had to be telling people, no the fact that my grandma is Jamaican doesn't make me Jamaican, I'm British - black British people exist you know! Its cos I live in the country, see... But I moved to a school in a nearby city and that doesn't even happen any more. Your comment about how you could easily look like an Asian guy if you butched up reminded me of when I started that school actually. It's a girls school but there was one boyish looking Asian person in my first basketball class who was amazing. I remember watching intently thinking "wow, he's so cool" and then realising I was at a girls school and being slightly freaked out because I thought I was straight back then. So yeah, I get what you mean - it isn't too hard to look like an Asian guy. She was quite tall though... And so am I so I have no idea what to say about that predicament. I guess be the sexiest you can and it will be overlooked. I mean, I met the members of my fav Japanese girl band and they were so short, but it didn't make them less hot to me. So yeah, just be as hot as really hot celebrities haha. Hmmm Asian lesbians... Jenny Shizimu, there's a definite one. Went out with Angelina Jolie, your ultimate Asian stud hero. I'm feeling the vibes from Hayley Kiyoko since she did the song "Girls like Girls" and then followed it up with "Cliffs Edge" and its video in which she is in a lesbian relationship. Both of them are proper love story type things not just sexy exploitation of the lesbian theme, so yeah, I feel either gay vibes or she's just a hardcore ally, which is nice. That's all I know haha. Anyway the actual question... does my skin colour fit in... I mean, Halsey is bisexual and mixed race black/white and has short blue hair which has been something I've been considering for about 3 years so I suppose I have her. There are black and mixed race lesbian youtubers I watch though I don't totally identify with them. Mostly all these people are from America. I need some British people mainly. Watching Rose and Rosie youtube videos always comforts me. I relate to their british flow. Yeah I suppose there are no mixed race British queer girls for me to look up to that I can think of. I think its more the tomboyish side of things that bothers me... if I ever do cut my hair short, it won't really be the cute way other tomboys get it because my hair don't go like that. And generally when I'm with my black family, they're so into the long fake hair, the jewellrey and such and I'm just like... why is this so much more of a big deal for you... I think, in terms of sexuality, being the child of a second-generation immagrant also just generally creates an atmosphere of less acceptance. They're very British, but at the same time, have these specific traditional values that are ingrained into them by their parents, and the fact that they think white people don't understand them, because of having to deal with racism, makes them quietly hold onto these things and be more conserative-minded than they appear despite living in super liberal England lol. Like my white family probably couldn't care less how super gay I was but my black family couldn't care less about how other people think. That's all the conflict I can come up with haha.
