I've been questioning for about a year now but i simply cannot put my finger on my sexuality. I have had sexual feelings for both men and women. But only until recently I have had them for men. I'm a virgin, and also very socially inept/ have bad (really bad) anxiety. I have only had sexual feelings for two men, and definitely more women. I only have heterosexual sexual dreams, which is strange to me, especially when I'm questioning my sexuality. I'm very confused due to the almost nightly recurrence of these heterosexual dreams, which I enjoy! The only thing that gets me going about homosexual sex isn't the fact that its a man but I just really enjoy bottoming. I enjoy the "booty stuff" if you know what I mean . Besides bottoming, nothing really appeals to me, hugging kissing and penetrating are all things I want to do with women. I love their hair and their faces and their curves just about everything. If I see a women in tight yoga-pants I almost have to look, but a man walks by and I feel nothing. The two men I've had sexual feelings for were one, because I experimented when I was 9-10 years old with one of them, and I'm curious to try it again, and two because my friend at college came out to me saying he was bi, and he is DEFINITELY into me, no doubt. I haven't chased after any girls since i came to college, even ones I've really liked solely due to my severe social anxiety, lack of drive because of this questioning ultimatum, and ever-so increasing depression. I just want somebody to support me, because I am very lonely and sexually deprived. Another thing is that I do not get excited watching gay porn. I know its not a good indicator but I do get easily aroused by straight porn, even just pictures of women get me going easily. The thing I've never looked at a man on the street and had sexual feelings for them. Basically all of my home-town friends think I'm gay because I never had sex in high-school and think I show gay traits. I'm at college right now and basically all of my college friends think i'm gay or at least bi. The friends at school that think i'm LGBT are LGBT, so i'm sure they want me to come out even more. I have told myself in my had that I am bi-sexual, and am completely okay with that, but I feel like its a cop out, to me and to my family/friends. I feel like they won't accept that at all, and I just really want to move on with my life and not have these questioning thoughts literally every-day. Any advice is appreciated
