Hey guys, I'm new here, I joined because I wanted a place to talk about how I have been feeling recently within a safe environment. I find it difficult to write posts so I'm going to structure it using bullet points. My Background: -Male aged 21, known as being straight -Studying Musical Theatre, actor / singer -Sexual background: only ever received a blowjob (from a woman) My Feelings: -Always been attracted to women and used to only fantasize about women until recently. -I feel good being around men, and make male friends and become attached to them really easily. -Very recently started to feel attraction to men at my college more than females. I am not sure if I am just admiring them or feel sexual attraction. -There are a few gay and bi guys on my course, sometimes they flirt with me and I don't seem to have any problems with it and sometimes flirt back with them. Other: -I feel awful about this, but I have banter with straight guys about homosexuality. Sometimes I go along with the homophobia to ''fit in'' with the straight guys, but end up questioning myself afterwards. -I always feel unsociable and insecure. -I have been considering experimenting with guys for the past few weeks after flirting with some of the bi / gay guys at college. Would it be recommended to try this and how would I go about doing it? Apologies for my long winded, bullet-pointed post. I feel really confused and I am unsure of what to do about this. I have always been attracted to women, but since joining an environment with homosexual and bisexual guys I feel like my sexuality has slowly converted (or been revealed). Could this be my hidden sexuality OR am I just horny because I have ''gotten any'' with any women? Advice, comments, help and support would be appreciated. (P.S: I apologies for admitting I have been homophobic in the past, but the comments I made among my peers was not my true feelings or intentions just passing comments as I feel insecure about myself)
If you're curious about what it would be like to do stuff with a guy, and are confident you aren't going to freak out and try to deck him in mid-stream, and you are honest with him up front about your intentions so you aren't making something happen under false pretenses, then I don't see any problem with giving it a whirl. I'd start by having a good think about it to be sure you want to, and to how you will handle it if you suddenly change your mind (which is fine, but having a plan seems a better option than making it up in the moment). Also, have you tried masturbating while fantasizing about doing stuff with a guy (or guys, if that's your thing)? Not using porn, but just your imagination. If not, I'd try that for a bit first and see how you like it. If you have, and have enjoyed it, and feel you want to go further see below. Also, what kind of guy is your 'type'? Or what kind of physical/personality features do you find attractive? As far as how you might go about 'doing the deed'. You might: a) Talk to some of the guys from your classes. Be honest about your situation and what you're looking for. One of them might be willing to show you the ropes, or to help you meet someone who is. b) Look into various dating sites and apps. A fair number of these are hookup tools, which can be problematic for some, but sounds like it might be what you are looking for. Note that from what I hear these can sometimes be problematical, mainly in terms of some of the people on them being unpleasant, or not wanting to talk to you because of your lack of experience or the like. But probably the fastest way of metaphorically putting yourself out there to the widest number of people possible. Again, be honest about what your situation and what you're looking for (kind of a constant in all of these IMO, actually). c) Go to gay bars. These are/were kind of the hookup place before the apps were invented. That said (and depending on the bar) they can vary from bar to bar and there are various kinds. You may end up spending your evening playing darts or watching sports with a bunch of guys who just happen to be gay. d) Find and try out a jack off club/group masturbation club. These exist in London (I checked) and are basically a bunch of guys getting together to masturbate together. I can't speak to the age range or whether anyone would be your 'type', but it might let you dip your toe in the water (so to speak) without 'going all the way' and see how you like it. If you do, then you could look into going further. Hope this helps, Todd
Welcome to EC! This is a good place to read, share, learn, etc. When I was your age, I had some similar feelings and experiences. I remember how crushing the peer pressure was, too. Fortunately, I think our culture has progressed since I was your age (that was the 80's). I would encourage you to read, both here on EC, and on LGBT resource sites. I am probably more nerdy than you (I was an engineering student), but when I read about bisexuality, it really "clicked" with me and seemed to fit me just right. After 30 years, I'm still bi, it has only solidified. You might be bi, or straight, or gay. Reading might help some. Interacting with guys is another way to explore. I wish you the best on your journey. Regardless of your orientation, be you and be proud.
