No matter what happens, I'm never happy. I go through relationships like they're cigarettes. And I smoke a ton. I've never been close to any of the girls I've dated, and guys annoy the sh*t out of me. All my relationships end because of me. I always dump the person I am currently dating within the first month. They were hurt, but I didn't care because I wasn't happy. I've had lifelong problems feeling empathy. But I was at college one day, sitting at a table playing Yu-Gi-Oh with my friend, when I saw them. I say "them" because I don't know they're preferred gender. But I do know they were born with a male body. However they dress very feminine. They're into the alternative style, like myself. The problem however, lies within my friends. My friends have an "anti-social" personality like I do. When they first saw the person who had my attention, they ripped in to them. Mainly pointing out how unattractive they were and how desperate they looked. I didn't defend them, because I don't know them. But even if I did, I'm not sure if I would have stood up for them. But my issue is I feel like I'm incapable of love or being happy. I don't know what I'm into, but this person makes me feel, awkward. I'm just weird I guess.
You sound pretty down in the bunks, friend. Maybe you could benefit from talking to a councilor at your school/campus if there is one?
Times when I felt I didn't know to be happy always seemed to be the times I didn't know how to be sad either. If you block out all feelings you won't feel any negative feelings, but you also won't be able to feel positive feelings, and both are important for trying to empathize with others. Maybe if you start letting go of expectations on yourself to feel a certain way at certain times and just go with the flow, you might find that you are actually capable of love and happiness. We all are.
Hm. It's hard to express myself, because I don't feel it. Every once and awhile a rare occurrence happened where I get sad, but it varies.
Hey there. I know people who have a hard time feeling empathy, and I also know people who have a hard time feeling happy. It doesn't necessarily mean they can't feel empathy,(necessarily) and it certainly doesn't mean they can't be happy. True, it's harder for some people to be happy than it is for others. I'd like to believe that's it's possible to some degree for everyone though. So no. I don't think you're weird. I've seen weirder, that's all. From my knowledge, people with antisocial personalities don't always feel or express emotions like other people.(in some cases this can also be a disorder) So it might not be in your nature to be empathetic, or sociable, or able to hold a relationship. There are lots of people like that. Am I correct in presuming all of this? That is part of the definition of antisocial, no? My advice... Don't try to force happiness upon yourself. If you like this person, try talking to them. I wouldn't get into any relationships at the moment, but it doesn't hurt to have more friends, and in doing so become more open minded. Hope this helps.
You sound depressed. Stress...antisocial behaviors...difficulty feeling empathy for others... These are all indicators of depression. Don't be afraid to seek help. Don't be afraid to take meds. I've taken meds, and they help. You also mentioned you smoke a ton. So what, man? If smoking helps you then smoke.
