I'm sorry if this seems rambling, but my mental state is shot as of right now. I am a teenage male and for my whole life until about 6 months ago i considered myself straight. That was when I started to think about, what if I was gay? This idea has plagued me for the last 6 months and I have not been able to get it out of my mind. On one hand I want to be able to say I'm gay and just accept that's who I am, but on the other hand I have these doubts that I might be straight or bisexual. I'm having these doubts because after reading other posts and watching coming out videos I just don't know. I never had gay crushes as a kid (as far as I can remember) but I always felt different, i just didn't know why. I've had crushes on girls before and I've dated a few for short periods, but the relationships never felt right. I mean it felt nice to be with them and I definitely liked them as a person, but I could never picture myself living with them in any situation. I also enjoyed holding hands with them, but I don't think (know) i was sexually attracted to them while doing it. During that time i didn't have sexual fantasies about guys (except once or twice) but i would imagine dating a few of my friends. Then fast forward to today and I only fantasize about men and want to date men, but I'm stuck thinking that I just convinced myself i'm gay and that i'm actually attracted to women because i don't find them unattractive and find them good looking, and don't know if i'm sexually attracted to them or if i am just admiring beauty (I don't think i have hocd because I've never had any ocd tendencies). Then i have watched porn (I've stopped because i think it's a disgusting habit) but i'll get an erection when watching straight and sometimes lesbian porn, but never with gay porn. I still fantasize about having sex with guys, but I'm not attracted to gay porn. Okay i'll stop rambling and wrap things up. I'm basically trying to get help to figure out if i'm gay or bisexual or straight and would really like help figuring out my thoughts because i've been driving myself crazy in the past 6 months. Please if anyone could give any advice or their opinions of my situation it would be much appreciated, thank you!:lol:
Ah, puberty. Comfort yourself by knowing that at least you're asking yourself these questions now! Deep down you will know when the right person comes along to which gender you're attracted to. I think your problem with girls could also be explained by your being young (you said you're a teen) and you shouldn't write them off completely just yet. Your feelings towards guys could either be sexual attraction or just some (serious) curiosity. Don't get into people because you feel like you should, to experiment, but find someone you genuinely like. Oh, and one last thing, your feelings towards gay porn could be completely normal, I hated gay porn and now I've warmed up to some of it (some, like a liiiittle bit, there are 5, 6 videos I go back to) it took me years to find some I actually liked, and in the meantime I already had had sex.
I'm 26 and since last year I have similar thoughts as you. I'm still not sure if i'm gay/bi/straight. One thing I know is that talking with someone who is in your life (good friend/family member) helps a lot. Having a conversation with someone who knows you can help organize your thoughts, add a new perspective. The talk I had with my female friend helped me. Knowledge that there is someone who accepts me whom ever I'm, let the pressure out of my chest. This one chat let me realize that I don't have to know it now. I start to slowly rediscover my self. You need to gather some data and then you will see... We all need time. And the most important thing to remember is that you don't need a label to be your self.
I'm going through a similar thing. About four months ago, I began questioning, and I'm still unsure. As a kid, I never had crushes on girls. I had minor "crushes" on boys, but only after my female friends began to form crushes and asked me about mine. I always felt off around other girls in certain situations, which I used to contribute to social awkwardness, but now I'm not sure. What I've discovered in the last few months is that there are no clear, outside indicators of your sexuality. How you act, what you do, do who you date - none of that factors in. Porn/sexual fantasies do not necessarily reflect your sexual orientation. It's what goes on in your head - if you can make sense of it - that really indicates who you're into. Time is the best way to determine who you are. I like to write "gay/not gay" lists when I'm having a particularly confusing day. Also, as previous comments have said, you don't need to label yourself. Labels can be comforting, but they can also be stressful. You're into what you're into, regardless of who, when, where, and how. Finding a box that fits perfectly can be near impossible, because everyone is different. Good luck!
First off I'd like to thank everybody who gave me advice and helped me get through this. Over the last couple of days I've slowly come to the realization that I am gay and just came out to my parents who were very supportive to me. While this has been a nerve wracking time for me, I feel like myself for the first time in a long long time and it's only now that I am writing this that I realized I never really was into women and the only reason I was interested in them was because society said that was the norm and that all my questions were just the path that lead me to the realization that I am Gay. Thank you all for what you've done because it's got me to a better place! (!):icon_bigg
