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Why people think asexuals doesn't exist? i'm really angry...

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Joltik12, Apr 7, 2016.

  1. Joltik12

    Joltik12 Guest

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    Hello,i'm an asexual male,and i plan to come out as asexual,but i just i can't the first reason it'ss that people doesn't believe that asexuality exist,and it just makes me really mad that people taunt on us because we doesn't want sex.
    Also we asexuals can feel romantic attraction too,yes i feelt atraction towards men,i got turend on by his body or i liked his beards,yes.
    But i just identify as asexual i'm mad that people doesn't accept us.
    Maybe i'm gay and they're right,but for now i'm asexxual.
    Thanks for reading.
     
  2. Euler

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    One reason is rarity. If I told you that I never feel hunger would you believe me? The thing is that when something is very rare people have difficulties believing in it.

    An other reason is that there is asexuality as an orientation and then there is asexuality as symptom of something. Often it is difficult to distinguish between the two. Asexuality as orientation is extremely rare and the only way to "diagnose" it is through ruling out all other explanations that could cause loss of interest in sex. These other reasons include depression, hormonal imbalance and side effects of certain medications for example.

    If you think you are asexual then perhaps a good course of action is to try to disprove this. Try finding out if something else could be causing your lack of interest in sex. I'm currently in process of doing this.
     
  3. Chip

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    I mostly agree with Euler. However, I want to be clear: There's no question asexuality exists. There's also no question, if we're using the widely-used definitoin, that it is exceptionally rare. And there is also no question that a significant majority of the people who self-label as asexual also are labeled (self- or otherwise) with co-occuring issues such as depression and anxiety that cause symptoms that look exactly like asexuality. And then there are the other confounding factors that Euler mentioned.

    However, it is nobody's place to tell you that you aren't what you describe yourself as. Nobody has the right to tell you your business, or what your sexual orientation is or is not. When we are educating about asexuality here at EC, we try to clearly describe the rarity, and what the widely accepted definition for the label is, and then contrast it to the "alternate definition" that is created by a small group of people and is not based on any sort of measurable criteria or study. Once people understand that, and the confounding factors that are a far more likely cause of symptoms of asexuality than the rare and hardwired condition itself. then each person must make his or her own decision as to where s/he fits on the spectrum.
     
  4. Creativemind

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    Whether asexuality exists or not doesn't really matter. It's everyone's personal choice if they want to have sex or not, even if it is caused by other matters, It's still your choice. I find it quite sad that low sex drive is always seen as a mental illness, but hypersexuality is "totally okay" and "controversial" being put in the DSM. It's ridiculous.
     
  5. marcelinevin

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    Hey, I agree but just wanted to say that hypersexuality is actually a specific term and is more than wanting sex a lot. People who are sexual abuse survivors or have OCD for example may experience sudden frequent sexual thoughts, urges and behaviour and that's different than someone who just likes sex or has always liked sex at a high amount without it being sudden or due to hormones etc. And people who experience mania or some personality disorders struggle with it too. Just googling hypersexuality comes up with a flood of information on it, even if it is a mis-used term even within the field sometimes and with that I agree. Sorry if this is rude, just felt compelled to let you know.

    (Also, low sex drive is completely different than asexuality, in my opinion. Many ace people have sex drives and many people who are not ace do not. And some people experience attraction but don't want sex - doesn't make them ace...etc.)
     
  6. Tritri

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    People can think asexuals don't exist for similar reasons that they refuse to believe that bisexuals exist. They think that everyone either likes guys or girls, because most people do. Asexuality, like bisexuality, can be a false label used by gays in denial. I remember when I briefly considered myself asexual when I was struggling with my sexuality.
    Some people think "asexuals" are really just late bloomers. I can understand thinking this way about a 13- or 14-year-old who identifies as asexual, but significantly older than that is ridiculous.
    If you've once felt sexual desires but now you don't ("loss" of interest in sex), then you're probably experiencing a cause other than asexuality, such as what Euler said. Because you can't just turn asexual.
     
  7. Calf

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    There are a lot of good points being made here already so I won't say much but a quick question, do you want to be asexual? I'm not suggesting that you could choose our change your sexuality, just asking if maybe your desire to be asexual is affecting your judgement of who you really are.

    Also there are people that will question it because it is something they can't imagine giving up themselves because of the pleasure they gain from it. They probably feel sad that they believe you're missing out on something they think you would enjoy. Alternatively it could just be that they are all finding you so attractive that maybe they think they're missing out :icon_wink
     
    #7 Calf, Apr 9, 2016
    Last edited: Apr 9, 2016