I like lgbt clubs and bars but i am straight (a bit asexual). I cant help myself but this prevents me from having fun. One can say i can go to any clubs i want but i cant. I dont want people around would know i attend lgbt places because im single for a long time and i dont want them thinking im gay- not because i would have a problem with this but because it would be a LIE and i dont wanna lie to anybode. You would say its a marginal problem but its a huge stuff for me because i dont have friends i would like to have and im not with people who are there having fun... if i attend a bar full of women and people i know would recognize me on facebook i would feel weird, totally, and as well- if im on gay woman party and im straight i would have a feeling i lie to everybody. Why would i be there otherwise? If they ask me if im gay - i cant lie and they wouldnt like me anyway this is a vicious circle but i have a feeling im losing my social life due to this completely- i do only things i dont wanna and im not around interesting people (no offence, sure for me not interesting, other people can have a different taste) How should i present myself? What should i do? Im totally lost. :icon_sad:
Yeah, the way you describe it, it does sound like a vicious circle and I have no advice for you, sorry. If I were you though I'd probably ask myself why I like lgbt clubs more than straight ones. Queer people are usually considered to be more open and creative, somewhat unique even (for example very often shamans were gay men). That would make me ask how do you channel creative energy in your life, is it blocked or flowing? Some people have special urgency to channel their creative side and when they repress it, for example when their inner security and confidence don't enable them to open up and risk mistakes, they can become frustrated, lethargic, or even ill. In short, I'd say it's possible that you can't express your creative energy directly and so you found a way how to do it indirectly - by going to the lgbt clubs. :icon_wink Or I could just write "bump". :lol: P.S. This is my post #1,000!
I've got a number of female friends who are way down with gay guys, have a lot of gay friends, and go to gay bars often. I think with gay guys women feel safer because we're not hitting on you and on the average we tend to be more in tune with feminine side. Plus the whole liking guys thing allows us to bond over that as well. Several of my straight female friends hang out almost exclusively at the gay bars here in town, so the original poster certainly isn't alone in that regard.
These clubs are focused on LGBT people, but that doesn't mean you need the "LGBT ID" to enter them. In most cases, sympathizers are welcome (just like we welcome straight people in Empty Closets, as long as they are friendly and respect the rules, just like everyone else)! I'm a bit cold in these "social circle" aspect. I don't like to hide things and, if someone i know is displeased by something i'm doing (as long as it isn't hurting anyone), i simply don't care. It is my life, not theirs, they can think whatever they want. Bottom line: If you like LGBT clubs, then go to these clubs. You aren't lying to anyone, and, if someone asks, you can simply say that you are straight. If they don't believe you, ok, but you are telling the truth. If people assume you are gay because you go the these clubs, it is their assumption. You aren't lying. Finally, you don't need to explain your life to anyone. You are free to go to these clubs, and it doesn't matter if others like the idea or not.
:icon_bigg:icon_bigg:icon_bigg ---------- Post added 16th Apr 2016 at 10:03 AM ---------- thanks ) yeah, i dont need any permit
