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Cannot work out what my sexuality is! Advice please!

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by bi dystopia, Apr 8, 2016.

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  1. bi dystopia

    bi dystopia
    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    Gender:
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    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
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    A few people
    Hi there, I am a 25 year old man and have been questioning my sexuality for around 11 years, without managing to reach a definite conclusion on what I think I am. I know for a fact that I am not straight or gay - but before someone says "Ohhh Bi Obviously", I don't really know for sure as these days there seems to be a new word for a sexuality springing up here and there - and the term Bisexual isn't one I've ever been particularly content with or has described my attractions to people. Sooo.....

    Whilst I have been both attracted to and physically intimate with both men and women, I feel as though I am lying by saying I am into both or either. By this I mean - I am not attracted to women generally (boobs, legs, bums, figure etc), yet some of the people I have been involved with have been women who I have been massively into and really turned on by.

    At the same time, I am not attracted to men generally (whatever) but there have been some men I have been absolutely mad about. Yet - looking at pictures of a man or woman who is supposedly really hot does nothing for me. I can get aroused by porn, except not by any of the people in the porn - but by using the activity in the video as a visual reference point when thinking about people I know who I'm into.

    In addition to this though, I'm currently in recovery from a recently realised PMO addiction, and I don't know if this will have had any impact on my sex drive or desire for other people of either sex. I've often found it difficult to experience pleasure or desire with partners both male and female or have become bored or no arousal, leading me to also wonder if there is an asexual element - whether this is because of PMO I won't know for the next few months...


    Anyway, not knowing anything for sure, or not being able to understand myself or properly come out to my friends or family, or even be able to date properly without constant fear of if I'm seeing the right people - with a definitive thing has made me very depressed over the years... Bisexual? Pansexual? I don't know!

    If anyone could help me shed some light here or offer any thoughts I'd be grateful!

    Thanks =]
     
    #1 bi dystopia, Apr 8, 2016
  2. CharacterStudy

    CharacterStudy
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    There's something called 'demisexual' which apparently means you only feel sexual attraction towards people to whom you have made a connection/bond. Does that sound like you?

    That made sense to me when someone explained it - although I occasionally see someone and think they look hot, it is usually some who looks very much like someone I've had a relationship with in the past. I generally only fall for friends, or people I at least know quite well. It's the sense of humour, way of looking at life etc... that I am attracted to - I definitely have a 'type' in looks terms, but the emotional connection comes first and once I have it I find them attractive, at least for a while.
     
    #2 CharacterStudy, Apr 10, 2016
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