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Denial or just inexperienced

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Leo124, Apr 11, 2016.

  1. Leo124

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    Just as the title says I thought I was bi but then I began questioning it I've talked to guys online mainly I'm still a virgin because I just don't have the confidence to meet guy or girl but then I realised I don't look at girls a lot but I find myself checking out guys yet I still say I'm bi I havent talked to any girls in a romantic kind of way and I don't know how they make me feel being honest I don't want to be gay that's not what I imagined for my life I wanted a wife and kids I have no clue what to do and this adding to my problems isn't helping me I just needed somewhere to say this
     
    #1 Leo124, Apr 11, 2016
    Last edited: Apr 11, 2016
  2. Spartan 117

    Admin Team Full Member

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    Hey there, and welcome to EC! I'm going to move your thread over to "Sexual and Romantic Orientation" because I think that's more appropriate for the advice that you want. :slight_smile:
     
  3. Aerin

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    I would say that your confusion is stemming from the fact that you're inexperienced. I say this based on what I've gone through, so I could be wrong, I'm just comparing it to myself and what you've said.

    Honestly, there isn't much that you can do, because figuring it out takes time and it is a process that can't be rushed.

    What you don't want to do is try to repress your curiosity. I completely understand that you're scared now. I was really scared too. I wanted to be with this girl so badly, but I didn't feel like I had the ability to be with her, because it would destroy the life I had lived thus far. I wanted to talk about boys with my friends and get married and have children. But over time (and by time, I mean 3 years), I found that what I really wanted most was to be with this girl, and being with her would make me happier than being with some hypothetical man.

    It's scary now because your plan might be derailed, but like I said, you just need to give yourself time to work things out, and if you find out that you are gay, or even bisexual, you'll find that your plan for life changes, and you'll like what it turns out to be. Even if you are bisexual, you can't control who you fall in love with, and it very well could be a man.

    I think the best way to figure things out quicker is to open up your mind and start trying to meet people, both men and women. You said your shy, so I understand you might not be ready to put yourself out there. But even talking to men and women online will help, that way you can compare the level of connection you feel with the two sexes.

    And low confidence really sucks. It's something I've struggled with. Try to find things that you like doing and make you happy, and make you feel good about yourself. Anything to boost your confidence!

    I promise you'll be okay, and it's okay to be feeling so lost right now. Just know that it will only get better.
     
    #3 Aerin, Apr 11, 2016
    Last edited: Apr 11, 2016
  4. sabrinaa

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    This sounds similar to how I have been feeling only the opposite genders. I don't really have advice, just letting you know you are not alone with how you are feeling.