I have been panacking and I don't know why I hear people say I'm vay and them people tell them it's a phase and I'm scared what if it's a phase with me I mean I like men find them hot and attractive and I want to be with one but then I have sexual thoughts of women that I don't like and I don't want to be with a woman I look at women but I don't feel the same as I do when I look at guys am I worrying for nothing I don't want to change the way I am because if these thoughts. I also don't get ho and why gay people wank to straight and lesbian porn that confuses me
Thoughts can't change you if you weren't designed like that to begin with. "Sexuality is fluid" could imply that until getting to the real sexuality a person may go through different stages - that being caused by various factors, like internalized homophobia or forcing oneself to be something they're not. I see that you've been weighing on this for quite a while so all I can suggest is that you take things one step at a time. You can wait before coming out and only discuss these matters with people that will continue supporting you no matter what and are neutral to everything (don't have an opinion on what you SHOULD be). If you stop worrying you'll probably get your mind back on the track and figure things out. Best of luck!
Honestly, the people who say that being gay is "phase" are usually not that informed about sexuality. It's my belief that sexuality is in-built and can't simply be "changed" after a period of time. It's true that sometimes people come to understand their sexuality better as time goes on, and it can appear to an outsider as if they've 'changed their mind' - but this isn't really the case. For example, someone who thinks they're only attracted one gender may discover that on the rare occasion, they may like another gender too. This is simply because they discovered more about themselves - not because they were in a 'phase' previously. There's no need for you to question whether your feelings are 'real' or not. They are real. The best way to find out more about your sexuality is to follow heart towards whoever makes you happy. Ps. I'm going to move this over to the Sexual and Romantic Orientation sub-forum, because I think you'll get some better views and advice there.
