Years ago, as i went to sleep every night I wished my sexual orientation would change. That somehow I'll become straight and everything will be great. But as much as I tried my sexual desire was as fiery as ever. Today, I don't even care about changing. I've come out to some people and I feel fine about it. But, now all of a sudden I've lost my sexual desire, I just don't function the way I did. I don't look at guys on the street, I rarely masturbate (like once in a month maybe), and I just don't have any fantasies, romantic or sexual... What's happening to me? The reason why I am asking about an orientation change is because i can't seem to be attracted by the same stuff I used to be attracted by... I look at guys but they seem very alien and boring, they seem like a bag of body parts that I can't derive any sexual pleasure from. I also realize that the whole "daddy" aspect of men was a phase of inner insecurity and identity problem. So... What if I was confused this whole time? Is that possible? To go from a person that's absolutely sure he is gay to someone that has forgotten what it really means?
I definitely feel something similar, I would think about women a lot, fantasise, masturbate whatever but this has almost completely stopped now, I still find women attractive or cute or whatever but the sexual connection seems to have left my body and it's hard to know when or why this happened. I constant question if I've been confused or if something has changed.
Yes, I have had periods where I'm more straight or more gay. But in all honesty, if society were more open, or if I had been born a guy, I'd be like 95% into women rather than men. I'd rather have straight sex with a woman but I can't change that without being reborn so I just run with it. And it makes me wonder how bisexual I still am. Lately I've been 100% gay but there are times when I feel no sexual desire for either gender because I'm going through a phase of frustration with the way society is.
I think it is normal to lose your sexual desires once in a while. this means you just don't want to have sex. but of course it is important for how long this stuff is going on. I don't personally think that sexual orientation can change. we either go through some phases just to find our true selves or have difficulty to understand the meaning in our feelings&desires. because we are only human, we are not robots, not stabilized. sometimes mid seasons can cause depression and it can result in changes in your ideas, emotions and even your sexual drive. or maybe you are in a point of your life where you find it hard to get yourself together and it makes it hard to focus on what you really want. I am not to tell you what to do of course but I guess you just should give yourself time. do you also have another physical/psychological problems occured recently in addition to what you've told? sometimes these things trigger each other.
Thank you guys for sharing your experiences... I don't know, but I have changed a lot. I guess I had very low self-esteem in the past, due to an abusive father and overall lack of self-confidence and tons of insecurities. I fantasized about a big man that can protect me and that can love me... But now as I battle many fears and demons things change gradually. I see younger guys on the street, the type I used to be attracted by back in high school and I can't seem to find anything masculine about them... My idea of masculinity changed I guess. I come to value real, deep bravery, honesty and confidence instead of the outer appearance that can deceive you in a way. But this is so damn confusing because I don't know which path to follow: the one that tells me that I should accept I like guys and that I should be with men, and that I shouldn't really brood upon this issue; or the one that tells me to follow my inner struggle and my intuition that tells me that bigger things on a spiritual level are happening...
My overall orientation has been pretty consistent, though it swings back and forth a bit within a set range. I do sometimes get a bit burned out by certain things though. I don't think it's so much that my orientation has changed, but more just that most people need a bit of variety to not get bored. I also have phases of being more and less sexually motivated. I think it's pretty normal to have fluctuations like that.
I agree with your intuition. I don't believe in almost anything but such spiritual stuff always made sense to me. The deal about your father might be confusing you, but it also might be just because your perspective of life is changing, your tastes are changing, just maybe. There is nothing wrong with wanting the more mature as you grow older. Try to relax, focus on something else. Just try.
Hmm, I used to like to fantasise about guys and have little crushes on guys and watch gay male porn a lot. As soon as I acknowledged feelings for girls, I started loosing desire for guys. I saw them and their figure how I liked to draw it and their hotness but somehow it does not compare to the way girls turn me crazy. I definitely never felt like I was forcing interest in guys, I was into it, but my experiences with girls have just turned my world upside down in a way that I never felt about a guy (I haven't had sex or proper relationships with either btw). Therefore, I often feel like a lesbian these days. I hold out on this because I feel like the right guy could rekindle that past feeling, I mean, it wasn't there for no reason surely. Not that I'm looking for a guy so I don't have to be gay - I want a gf no doubt about it.
i am in this position too ! I was straight fantasizing and having sex with girls , falling in love with them and then all of a sudden my attraction shifted toward guys while i never felt anything for them since that day.. The difference being that i hate this shift and i was suicidial because of it.. I still am to be honest ..
I don't think there's anything in your post that shows shift in orientation, per se. It's more that you've lost your libido, which could be totally natural, or caused by depression or any number of other things. If you started having sexual and romantic feelings for women, that's another thing, but I think it's more that your libido is changing. If you are starting to come to terms with your homosexuality, I think it's best not to let this distract you from it. If you think depression is the cause, you may want to look into treatment.
I thibk it's important to remember that human sexuality is fluid and who we're attracted to fluctuates, as does our degree of attraction, and that's totally okay. Maybe your taste is just changing. I mean, as a kid I hated coffee and alcohol and now I love the stuff. Not to oversimplify your issue but just comingup with a simpler comparison. People change and that's normal!
How long has this been going on? As for the answer to the title. For me yes it has oddly enough. When I was 7 or 8 I was straight and even homophobic, 9-11 I don't remember being attracted to anyone age 12 that's when I started to like boys. I'm 22 now and I still like guys, but ever since 2012 I'm been fluttering between a kinsey 5.8-5.9 and probably lower. It's really annoying as I'd rather just be gay. It's less confusing for me. But I think with you maybe you are just having what I did age 9-11 just a lapse in desire.
Yeah I guess so... I just regret spending all those years hiding my true self and trying to change, and when I finally decided to accept who I am, I started changing... It is so damn confusing...
I have been having the same issue some days fancying guys and others not so much and what I have come to realise is simply I just do not fancy those particular guys. I feel I should be fancying those guys because they are what society says are good looking, but the thing is what society says are good looking and what my subconcious thinks are two completely different things. Sometimes it could just be subtle things. I know I like muscled guys but sometimes they could have too much muscle or the angle of their face is not quite right, I have recently discovered I have a big thing for guys with piercing blue eyes, its just who you see. So maybe with you it is simply the guy does not match who you find attractive subconsiously not what you think you should be attracted to. I am glad I have wrote as well as hopefully helping you this post its making me learn something as I am thinking about it objectively. P.s. I had to re-write this post as I hit the wrong 'Post Reply' button! Grrrrrrr!
