Hello! So, I'm an 18 year old girl and for the last couple of years or so I've identified as bisexual, although I'm not entirely sure how accurate the label is. Before I really get into this, I'd just like to state that I've never dated or even kissed anyone, because I am too anti-social to be in a relationship (I'm kind of shy around new people, and I wouldn't want to date any of the people that I already know) and have never been in the sort of situation where I would kiss someone. Anyway, I didn't realise that I was bisexual until I was sixteen, and maybe this is due to the heteronormative (and sometimes homophobic) society in which I live, where if you weren't straight and cisgendered then you were ignored - at least when I was growing up. I haven't known since birth or whatever, which kind of makes me doubt myself? I never see people and think "hot damn, 10/10, would bang" or "would date", at least, not as soon as I meet them - not to say that I'm not attracted to them, but it's nothing beyond "oooh, they're pretty and kind of hot", you know? Although I am attracted to boys and girls, I'm more interested in girls. I'm not particularly interested in sex (although I believe that I would be if I actually HAD a partner, the thing is, I don't) and the most I've ever fantasised about was kissing. My entire life, I have only ever had two serious crushes: one on a guy, when I was younger, and one on a girl that started about a year ago, I believe? (I still like her even though she has a boyfriend now, oops.) I know there's this whole culture about rejecting labels, but god, I beg you, please try and help me because I absolutely hate this confusion. Personally, I'd rather that my sexual orientation was labelled because then I would find it easier to identify myself. To anyone who actually read this whole post: thanks! - EmeraldEyes
Hi I dont know if I can help you but I wanted to say that I can relate. Ideally I would have someone tell me what I am and give me the label that is right so I can identify myself. People on here have said they think I am gay, which does help to an extent but not fully. It has also taken me a while to realise things, and I feel like my clues aren't particularly strong. I wish that if I was gay (which I now accept as likely), it would feel certain and have been obvious all along without so much confusion. What were the differences the feelings that the 2 crushes provoked?
Yeah, same here. I know that labels aren't really necessary, but I'm one of those people who wants to put a name to everything, you know? Exactly! The confusion just makes it so much more difficult to be sure... Well, the first one was more of a childhood crush, really, so, you know - you want to get married when you're older and you're idealistic about everything. In hindsight, it probably wasn't really a romantic crush at all seeing as I was about eight/nine. The second one was more based on intimacy I guess? I just really wanted to be closer to her and kiss her and, well, have a relationship I guess? I'm sorry, I'm not good at describing things at all! But with her, I always got really jealous of the boy she liked (the one she ended up with) and even though she could be kind of possessive of me - well, this is strange but I kind of liked it in an odd way? I'd get annoyed about it, because she could be controlling sometimes, but maybe I was only annoyed because I knew I should be, haha. Anyway... Because I so rarely get crushes on anybody, I'm starting to wonder if maybe part of it is just me latching on to anyone who pays attention to me? I mean, that's probably not it at all but I get a little paranoid. Thanks so much for talking to me about this! And if I can do anything for you then please just say so
