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Please help since any literature doesn't seem to be useful

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Nunome, Apr 18, 2016.

  1. Nunome

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2016
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    Location:
    Tallinn
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    So, hello.
    It'seems gonna be a long post but still hope at least someone'll help.
    I was born in a country which is located near Russia. Probably Nobody is familiar with how do people of our region treat LGBT community so, to cut the long way short they either really hate it or don't mind as long as it's the 'problem of dirty west'.
    And since I have never even thought about my future anything but being a good wife for 'my prince' it didn't bother me much. And 3 years ago when I realized that I know English enough I started learning some new stuff. It started as just: oh I think gay guys kinda cute I guess I'm on their side. And later on I started thinking that it is not just ok to be gay or lesbian, I started to think that ithe is actually good.
    So. It was a time when I started thinking about how I feel. And honestly I've always liked boys so my friends and family would think that I make up problems and if I said that I was actually serious they are not going to be OK with that. But, I guess it's not just about attraction. It has always been some misunderstandingood between my parents. It has always seemed like they can't understand each other and I was afraid that it will happen to me too one day. Therefore I thought that if I decided to date girls instead of boys it will solve this problem. And of course at the same time I tried to prove myself that I'm just trying to be not like everybody else and there is no confusion at all.
    I forgot to mention but I do find girls attractive too, I just have always considered that attractiveness in other way until last two or so years.
    Also, my situation is so that I'm 17 and I have never dated anyone. So I guess if I had some kind of experience it'd be easier to make some kind of conclusion but all my experience is that a long time ago I played a bottle game and kissed both girls and guys and wasn't disgusted by this fact or anything.
    So can I consider myself bisexual or I do make it up and it shouldn't be something that bothers me for the last half a year. Any piece of advice will be helpful since I have never actually talked about it with anybody. And sorry for my English
     
    #1 Nunome, Apr 18, 2016
    Last edited: Apr 18, 2016