Okay, so as you can probably tell from the title, i'm really confused about my sexuality. Just so you know, i'm a female, almost 18 years old. I've always identified as straight but in recent years i have been beginning to feel as though this label doesn't really suit me. I never really had many crushes growing up. I remember when i was around 11 or 12 all of my friends would have crushes on guys so i would just say that i had a crush to feel like i fit in. And i mean, i found guys attractive and i would talk about male celebrity crushes with my friends (Zac Efron mostly) but i never had that butterfly, completely obsessed with someone feeling. I go to an all girls high school so i don't see many guys in my age group. But ever since i was around 12 or 13 i've been having thoughts about girls. Occasionally i would catch myself staring at a pretty girl and think sexual thoughts about them but i would quickly repress these thoughts and try not to think about girls. This past year as been really confusing for me. I still haven't had a relationship or major crush on anyone but i'm no longer repressing those feelings anymore. I would see someone attractive and i'd think "yeah they're hot" but i never get to know them well enough to form a real attraction. This is really hard for me to explain because i don't even know how to explain it to myself. I know that i definitely like guys. I've definitely fantasied about being with guys in both a sexual and romantic way. However, there have also been times when i have had similar fantasies about girls. And in both of these fantasies they don't feel weird or uncomfortable in any way. I have this one friend who i tell almost everything to. But sometimes she will say things about being straight and how she could never be with a girl and i kinda just sit there because i don't know how to tell her that in fact, i would totally like to be with a girl. I'm so scared to tell her how i feel, not because i think that she won't accept me i just don't think that she'll understand what i'm going through. I mean, i don't even understand what i'm going through. I know i don't have to conform to labels, but it would just make me feel comfortable if i felt like i had something to identify as. This is really confusing for me as i have never done anything with anyone of any gender. I hope this makes sense and i hope someone reading this can help me understand my sexuality a bit better. thanks "A triangle trying to squeeze through a circle"- Missy Higgins, Scar
I am in a similar situation too! I think that you should try a relationship with a boy and then a relationship with a girl. See which ones suits you better/ feels more comfortable. Hope I helped.
Empty Closets Help & Feedback is mainly for technical problems about he website itself! I think I'll move this thread over to the Sexual Orientation sub-forum. I think you'll get some better advice there.
Bisexual is an identity that would be close to what you are feeling. But there are variations to that as well, its not just only two. You can identify as bisexual, and change it again in the future once you have had time to explore more. Identity is not set in stone, at least I believe that. Hope that helps.
