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Gender roles confusing sexuality

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by bubbles123, May 2, 2016.

  1. bubbles123

    bubbles123 Guest

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    So I've been questioning for a while. I've had experiences where I've been kind of attracted to some girls, and sometimes to guys, but in different ways.

    Back when I thought I was straight, I would get really excited when guys payed attention to me, and was excited by the fact that sometimes guys would like me (guys I'd pay no mind to otherwise) but as soon as one expressed that they wanted a relationship it was like I suddenly realized that's not what I wanted and got really scared and uncomfortable.
    I think I probably felt good when guys payed attention to me, more so than me actually liking them.

    Well, today I'm still questioning. I think I'm pretty biased toward being gay even though I really don't have enough experience with feelings and such to tell if I could be bi yet.

    And lately I've been thinking this: I don't know if I'd be into guys in a serious way, but I think if I was maybe it's hard for me to tell because when I'm with a guy in any situation, or I'm imagining it, I feel that same old feeling of extreme discomfort and awkwardness, and I'm wondering if that may be because I like to be kind of "masculine" in a relationship. I feel like when interacting with guys, they don't see me that way, and I also find it hard to feel that way, so I don't feel quite right and that's making me uncomfortable. (Not saying all men are dominant or that femininity means submission, this is just how I've come to feel because of societal norms)
    I don't know if that's making me uncomfortable or if it's something else.

    Just wondering if anyone else has had experience with similar feelings, or may have some insight.
    Thanks!
     
  2. LoyalGryffindor

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    I can definitely relate!
    (btw, I am still questioning)

    I get really excited when guys pay attention to me because I love it when I get included as "one of the guys". I don't get excited because I necessarily want to date them.
    And when I see pictures of muscular guys that most straight girls would think are hot, I'm more thinking "wouldn't want to mess with that guy".
    I've never been in a relationship, so I don't know whether I would be dominant and/or masculine or not. I tend to think I would be, at least somewhat.
     
  3. jenne

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    You just described my problem perfectly.... I do like some men just romantically I guess or maybe I just admire them.. I cant explain it.. because when I try to imagine it it feels so awkward and uncomfortable like I can't be myself because I feel like I have to be the masculine one in the relationship (I'm not a tomboy though)it's so frustrating...you're not alone!
     
    #3 jenne, May 3, 2016
    Last edited: May 3, 2016
  4. WGT

    WGT
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    Yep, I'm pretty much the guy version of this. I want to be with a girl, but whenever the option presents I don't feel at all comfortable with it and just want to be submissive to a man again.