So I have seriously been questioning my sexuality for a while now and haven't been sure what to do. I found a guy on my college campus who is bisexual and become good "friends" with, we have a lot in common and enjoy hanging out together. He told me I could give it a try and didn't have to worry about anything getting out etc..... So I finally got up the courage to do it and we did. This was a month or so ago, and we have "been together" a few more times since then. The thing is I don't really feel any different than I did before, I don't feel gay, I don't feel as though this has really helped me find out who I am at all. If anything it has confused me even more. It has left me with a lot more questions than answers. :bang: Am I gay, does doing this make me gay? Is what I've done wrong? How do I move on? Any advice is greatly appreciated.
So, this sort of highlights something I see on EC from time to time and that sort of makes my eyes cross - people wondering about their orientation because they don't 'feel' gay. To which I will ask: Just what does being gay 'feel' like? Unless you (not you specifically, but 'you' in the generic sense) can literally read a gay person's mind or experience life in their head, you really have no idea how or what they are feeling or if it is any different from what being a straight person feels like. When I concluded I was gay, it was because I'd actively arranged to have sex with a guy (after some encounters where a guy hit on me) and because I had never had any urge to ever have sex with a woman. I didn't feel any different afterward, other than 'well, that's sorted' and 'what should I have for dinner?'. There may very well be some people who feel differently in some fashion after having their first gay experience. But that's certainly not an automatic thing that everyone goes through. Secondly, and more importantly, I would ask: Did you enjoy having sex with this guy? Did it feel good? Do you want to do it again? If the answer to those questions is some variant of 'yes' - then I'd say you aren't straight. Although whether you are gay, bi, or pan is still an open question based on the information provided in your post here. To answer your other questions: No, there is nothing wrong in what you did. You are two consenting, presumably age appropriate people having sex. Hopefully you are both enjoying it and practicing safe sex. I don't see anything wrong with that. As far as moving on: What do you mean by that? If you've enjoyed the sex with this guy, then you could continue exploring that. Do you think you might like to try a relationship with a guy? Then you could see about doing that. Do you think instead that you'd prefer to be with women? Ok, then you could see about doing that. Ultimately, it comes down to what makes you feel good and feels right for you. My 2c worth, Todd
I guess what I was trying to say by feeling gay, was that it would give me a clear answer that this is something I forsure wanted moving forward. And I thought it would kinda give me insight on how I should label myself.
Maybe you are just not that into him? Being gay does not mean you have an emotional connection with all the gay people out there. Enjoying spending time together just means you guys have the potential to be good friends... I have a few straight friends who would fool around from time to time and if they were not especially satisfied they would just move onto someone new. I don't ever see them doubting their straightness. This might just be me but I don't think sexual experimentation helps much if you don't already have a deep emotional connection (I am very old-fashioned though...)
