Hey! So, when I knew I could like girls and finally acknowledged it, I started questioning. This was like a year ago. Before I acknowledged it, I was completely obsessed with girls after my first kiss (with a girl mind you). Well, what's the problem? The questioning. because it had taken over my life: ''there is a possibility you could like a guy, you are only 18'' sleepless nights and not being able to fantasize about girls (because I would block ''what if it were a guy'', questions seemed to overtake me). I became so obsessed with it that I had to check everyone out: ''Am I attracted, am I attracted, am I attracted?'' Especially when it came to guys. Sometimes I could see myself in a relationship with them, like a picture, an ideal idea. After this I'd come to the conclusion: ''I knew it you can be attracted to guys'' But that is a false conclusion, you must think. An ideal picture does not mean it also works in reality. It was a false conclusion, because if I worked that way, I could have had a million relationships by now. Even with family members. You heard it right. Family, because I had to check everyone. Before questioning, I was not checking everyone out, but mostly just living life without really paying attention to people (not in this obsessive manner anyways) Still my head was in overdrive and I became some sort of stone cold person, I questioned every feeling I had. 24/7 In real life however, my emotional and sensual attraction had been always towards girls, if I look backwards. (I am not a sexual person, i'd never say ''i'd tap that'' (In my head however, I could have this idea of having sex, again with almost everyone)) Did or do anyone of you guys have the same thing? Finally discovering you can be attracted to the same sex and then, boom, everyone could be a sexual object (In your head)? (especially the opposite sex) Thanks for reading, have a nice day!
I'm going through the same thing...My mind is a crazy mess. I question with every woman I see, every man I see. I can also picture myself in an ideal relationship with a man. But then when I think of what it would really be like, the fighting, getting old, getting sick, and going through struggles. I'm not sure I could really love a man unconditionally. I feel like I could still love a woman through everything, though. But Idk. Like I said, my mind is a mess and it's driving me crazy. And now I lack self-confidence so much that I can't be certain that I'm attracted to women, either...ugh. So, yes, you are not alone.
Yeah same here my mind is such a mess, I am not certain of anything anymore. Also relationships with guys it would be more of a friendship I guess, I would not want to be touchy feely with them. When it comes to females however... In hindsight I would feel pretty uncomfy with sex with men. I mean, I know not all men are dominant, but still, It would feel like I were to be dominanted and I do not like that thought at all. I would do it for the sensation i suppose... Still I have this need to check everyone and it's starting to get really annoying. Thanks for sharing, glad to hear I am not alone
