Unsure of my sexuality

I'm unsure how to properly define my sexuality. I've had this self-awareness of my sexuality for about a year. I had felt at that point that I was bi curious or something within a "mostly straight" spectrum since I felt to be "emotionally close" with my younger friend Travis. We just had mutual affection of platonic feelings but it felt at times borderline sexual.

The bi curious feelings had been occurring before that(but this was a period where I felt more aware of it).

Then recently, I felt like I had a 3 month "relationship"/friendship with a guy that was one year my senior(I'm 24, he was 25). I don't know why I consider it a "relationship" I suppose the following explains it:
1. I felt some emotional attachment to this guy.
2. I had some brief sexual fantasies over him.
3. He fit the "guy of my dream"(I mean preppy/upper class, mid 20s, White guy). I mean the first time we hanged out, he picked me up in a slick Mazerrati Grand Trusimo. I
4. It seemed like borderline dates every time we hanged out, I mean he paid for drinks every time we went to bars.
5. He was the first guy(a year my senior) I kissed twice. I mean, I've kissed guys younger than me but he was the first guy that was older than me that I kissed.
6. He appeared to make brief homoerotic innuendos about us. He made some anecdote that we had hooked up one night we hanged out, but then retracted it. I mean, Edmond(that's his name) is straight for the most part, but what straight guys makes a story up about having sex with another guy. And he had been descriptive of the sex acts we did or attempted. He claimed that I didn't come but we were in bed and talking about some personal things.
7. And he made one brief text to me, "[my name], how you long to hang out with me. You are in love. I mean I felt like he knew, that deep down I had some "feelings" for him.
8. I joked around and gave him a pet name like "preppy boy" and called his apartment a "posh playpen."

I appeared to be more crossing toward some platonic/romantic/slight sexual feelings territory that I never crossed before.

I felt like I was in a relationship but it just feel to pieces(if anyone had read my other posts, you'd know why).

I just felt so emotionally vested with this guy because he appeared to meet my needs: emotionally and platonic. Sexual? For the most part, we didn't have sex but the thought of having sex never crossed my mind.

I felt like we were almost freeking married. I mean, it would've been "cool" if he and I just were a couple but I don't know if it would have lasted.

 

Regarding your "scale", I'd safely assume I would be within the 4-6 of being gay.

The story about Edmond and I, we didn't consider ourselves a "couple." We were friends but I just felt like were an informal couple. I mean, the way he was so inviting to every instance to go out and paying for everything.

Yeah we our problems but we did everything the best we could for the longest we could. And when everything fell apart, yeah it hurt us both. I mean the last time we had communicated, my feelings for him rained down on texts. It didn't get all odd, I didn't say in texts "Oh Edmond, I really wanted for us to lie down in bed and fuck." I recall I just said texts like I loved him as a friend and I thank for the past three months, good and bad. He had wished me well and wanted me to sober up and graduate. I just wanted to tell him, that I loved him and I just wanted the best for him. I was referring that I just want him to sober up and I know if he tried he could. I mean, he and I went through all of bullshit together when we got trashed.

The whole three months we were "together" as friends, we did dabble into some alcoholic behavior that ran amok.

I mean, if he and I were sober I'm sure we could've had a healthier friendship I'm sure.